Now We Are Sixty - Christopher Matthew

...rightly so.

Now We Are Sixty is the response of the author to him hitting the golden years, and at the same time creating a lovely pastiche of A A Milne's poems about Christopher Robin.

Unfortunately, the book was dressed as being more for the silver-haired amongst us, when really the themes are applicable to (nearly) all, and the writing style is just so witty and enjoyable, there is no real age-bracket it would appeal ...
...about Buck House as mentioned, now starts "They're changing sex at Buckingham Palace" and proceeds from there - luckily Christopher Robin doesn't go down with, or on, Alice at all. And in the rest of the poem it becomes clear this is a Club-member type spouting off against all and sundry: New Labour, cricket, the courts, Stephen Fry...

"The King's Breakfast" has become "The Queen's Pickle", which is another ... more

What's this? Three 5-star ratings in a row? People will begin to think I am getting soft in my middle-age, but rest assured, I am still theediscerning.

Anyway, I could have asked to op about the crap film I saw at the weekend, but instead volunteered to tell you all about this nifty little book, which has been out for several years now, and sold by the bus-load. And rightly so.

Now We Are Sixty is the response of the author to him hitting the golden years, and at the same time creating a lovely pastiche of A A Milne's poems about Christopher Robin.

Unfortunately, the book was dressed as being more for the silver-haired amongst us, when really the themes are applicable to (nearly) all, and the writing style is just so witty and enjoyable, there is no real age-bracket it would appeal to - it is a book for all to like.

So what if you forget all the Milne ones you might have been reading in your school days, you will actually be surprised how many of them you may recall from these versions. Yes, there are the very famous ones, such as the one where they're changing the guard at Buckingham Palace, and "The King's Breakfast", where the royalty revolt (as usual) about their petite dejeuner.

Here it's not the guard that's changing, it's all the topics of the poems, and not just in a cobbled-together way. The whole volume has been carefully thought about, and nothing at all feels forced.

Of course you want examples, and here I am to give them. The one about Buck House as mentioned, now starts "They're changing sex at Buckingham Palace" and proceeds from there - luckily Christopher Robin doesn't go down with, or on, Alice at all. And in the rest of the poem it becomes clear this is a Club-member type spouting off against all and sundry: New Labour, cricket, the courts, Stephen Fry...

"The King's Breakfast" has become "The Queen's Pickle", which is another brilliant re-working, wherein the old goat struggles to get more dosh for the royal purse. The Duke of Edinburgh's language is a bit more colourful than Milne probably ever wrote.

My favourite remodel has to be also from the 'oh-I-didn't-realise-that-was-one-of-his' school, the old chestnut about walking along and not stepping on the lines between paving stones. Then it was "Lines and Squares", now it's "London Streets" and is about all the dogs' muck and so on people now have to avoid landing on. The best poem I've read all year, probably.

And so the themes go on. While some of them might be a bit middle-class for some, such as the changes made in the late '90s to Radio 4, they will all be recognisable. "Greek Tragedy" is also top-notch, about the wishes of an old chap on holiday in Greece - how he ends up fulfilling none of them will probably be most familiar to many.

Mobile phones, computers, and so on all get a review from the late middle-ages, as do secretarial flings, inflation, and the problem most of us will grow to having of not being able to sleep after a heavy meal (apparently).

Fans of Milne must be merely appreciative of how all the poems have been adopted and adapted. Apparently all are present and correct in rewritten form, and one gets two reworkings. And without having the original to hand to check up, I am sure the claim that all the rhyming schemes and metres have been followed to the T.

Fans of poetry in general must also appreciate this volume, for it blows the stuffy bilge from Faber and Faber out of the water, in range, style, readability, humour, and all-round intent. There is not a moment that isn't smile-inducing, even the mention of "the last journey of all" at the end of "Autumn Afternoon".

And fans of humour, and of a good book generally, even such a short one as this (an hour-long read at the most, but that only encourages re-reading and perusing during TV ad breaks, et al), really should be open to its charms. I fell for them, and really, if you love the originals or not, you probably will too. 

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