I have recently discovered the pleasure there is to be had by looking at amateurish attempts at poetry. Take this anonymous example from an in-house magazine published by the Royal Infirmary, Leicester.
My Stay At The Royal (June 2004)
The Nurses down at the “Royal” Are all angels in disguise Their hands are so gentle and tender And caring reflects in their eyes They all do so many duties To make our stay easy to bear We’re washed and we’re fed and made comfy Which shows they really do care These angels are all special people With smiles for the weak and the lame They all do their best for the patients Without asking for medals or fame They ask us for blood and for water And inject us with things in our arms They then give us pills by the dozen And smile with all tender and charm I know I’ll go home feeling better As the nurses continue their toil All hiding their wings under aprons At the hospital known as the “Royal”
The poem is an extended metaphor, comparing the kindness, dedication and selflessness of the nurses in the hospital to "angels". A similar point is made in the heartrending poem "Angles in Blue on Ward 52" (this isn't a misprint by the way, it is as the poet intended).
The poet has chosen to use a simple alternating (abab) rhyme scheme and fairly regular iambic tetrameters (8-syllable lines with a falling stress - de-dum de-dum de-dum de-dum), to convey the poem's hopeful message in the face of adversity.
The exception to this is the wonderful line "We're washed and we're fed and made comfy", where the extra syllable and repitition of "and" help to convey the hard, repetitive work that the nurses undertake.
I think the metaphor is strained, however, when the poet describes how the nurses "inject us with things in our arms" and "give us pills by the dozen" - this leaves me wondering if they are not acting irresponsibly in some way.
However, this is followed by the wonderfully mangled line "And smile with all tender and charm" - the poet here employs Leicester dialect in order to convey the bond and trust he or she feels for the nurses.
The last quatrain (four lines) of the poem, sum up the metaphor very satisfyingly. They bring the poem to a close by cleverly referring back to its beginning. Because of their selfless attitude, the nurses "hide their wings under aprons". They are content to do a stressful job, with ridiculously long hours for very little pay, as long as they have the satisfaction of caring for the patients and seeing them get better.
All in all, this is a charming and beautifully expressed example of the genre.
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I know your review was written a couple of years ago - but what are you on about???
Can't you just enjoy the poem as it is - why break it all down and analyse it? I love poems like this - easy to understand, it gets right to the point with no airs and graces or flowery speech!. I would have proud to have written this! I try to write my poetry like this! x Sal x
LR_17 28.12.2004 19:45
I was never really good at analysing poetry, just reading it and appreciating it! Great review though! Leila :)
Advantages: This is poetry that sings. TS Eliot was a master of the language. Disadvantages: Eliot was often purposely obscure, showing off his education
mattygroves 04.09.2002 ·
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Dec 28th, 2004
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