Poetry > Reviews (821)

Hello All….Merry Christmas to all you great Ciaoers out there!!! I did what I said I was going to do, and my poem is finished, and I’m now wiping away the last of my tears that had accumulated earlier in the day. Hope you all enjoy reading it. For those of you who don’t know me, and want to get a full perspective on what drove me to write this poem, please read my “Bereavement” op, which I will post on my homepage so that it appears right after this special poem. One again, Happy Holidays to you all!! Chris xxx

>

Sixty-One years ago today, you were born
I wasn’t alive then, though I was still part of you
You had three brothers, but I had none
And now I’m now lost without you

Your life may have not been ideal
Though you fell in love and got married
You had two wonderful children
I haven’t achieved those goals, on the contrary

I wish I was as smart as you
As you went to college and got a Masters
I’m still determined to get my Bachelors
I promise you I will work faster

Your witticisms and eccentricities were unique
You taught me so much about the world
As I was growing up, I did everything you told me
Even when times for me were so low

It was because of you that I loved to read
You helped me get through so many books
Like The Scarlet Letter and Huck Finn
You even blessed me with good looks

I know there was so many times you got upset
Sometimes it was because of me, and I regretted that
Until now, there was one thing I would never forgiven you for
I eventually did, simply because you were my Dad

I wanted to see my uncle Timothy before he passed
Now he is here with you today
You loved him as much as I admired him
And now I want you to be together every day

You both loved England, for its history
And Culture, but mostly for its literature
I know you also wanted to always wanted to live on the ocean
And today I will be laying you both to rest in the water

I would have no idea that it would come to this day
I didn’t guess for a minute that you would have passed this year
I missed you and was scared for you for so many months
All I was determined to do was come and see you and be near

I was as happy as I could be when I arrived in the UK
That is, for two weeks, before you had gotten ill
I called you every week, sometimes even more
I heard you were deteriorating rapidly still

I wanted to come home, but you told me no
My mother and sister had completely agreed with you
Last time we spoke, you said you were proud of me
And that all I had to worry about was what I had to do

I was having a lot of fun when you left this world
Being with friends and working hard at work
If I had known you went into the hospital for the third time
I would have flown home, no matter what your retort

You were asleep for three days and just slipped away
When the base Chaplain informed me of you
I felt paralyzed and wanted to die myself
I ended up getting drunk, as well as black and blue

Flying home that last time was too hard for me
It would be the last time I would be in the house
That I grew up in over the years with you
When I got to the door, I felt like an unwanted mouse

I know you and my Mother did not want me to be home
However, I knew that she would need help without you
The bills, the store, the home and most of all, the move
And I would still promise to do what you wanted me to

I was glad I was able to see you the day before you were burned
My mother and uncle left me alone with you, and I then took your cold hand
I wanted mostly to say goodbye, though I wanted to do something more
“You had raised both of your children well, and that was all that mattered.

”

I then took you and Timothy with me on the plane
I wanted to smack the woman who wanted to inspect the bag
It offended me that the airline wanted to inspect you and Tim
She said thank you, and I told her she was a stupid slag

I hope you are still able to see my home
I hope you are still able to see my puppy
I hope more than anything that you could see
The life I have carved out for me

I thought I could hear you say exactly what you last said
“I’m proud of you, son, I’m proud of you.”
I may not be married, I may not have children yet
You didn’t care about that, You knew I wasn’t a fool

I’m now taking you out to the wonderful ocean
It may be cold, but I didn’t feel cold, but very warm
My puppy is coming with us, which is what you wanted
I saw the waves coming up and down like a swarm

Then the tears started to come again, which was expected
Before I heard about you, I hadn’t cried for so long
It hurt me to let you go, and let you drift out to sea
At least you are not alone; you are with Timothy

I stood there for several hours, saying goodbye
I was also taking in the beauty of the scene
This is a place where I know you would have loved to be
Now you will be here forever, content and serene

I went home and I’m now composing this poem
This would be the last day I would ever spend with you
On this wonderful Christmas Day, in 2003
I love you Dad, and I will always love you

One more time, Goodbye
One more time, Goodbye
One more time, Goodbye
I know that was three more times, but I realize now
I will always say goodbye in my mind
Because I will never forget you
I promise you I will live up to your expectations of me
You may be proud of me now
Later I want you to be happy that I lived on and prospered

Finally, I want you to know that I will continue our generation
Because I’m now the only one left, a shaking branch in the cold air
Waiting to blossom, waiting to extend, waiting to grow more
You know what name I will give my first son, the special one she will bear

Merry Christmas Tim
Happy Birthday Stephen
I don’t know where you both are
I will only know when I go out to the ocean

You will still both go on, like those waves
You will continue to come and greet me
And when I walk out on the water
I will always feel you.

One more time, Goodbye

----C. N. Kulik
----December 25, 2003