all because of you

All because of you is about coping with death and other things that aren’t so rosy in life. At the end is who it is dedicated to and why. I hope that you read on in this poem and enjoy! Thank you for your time.

I saw you lying there,
Lying helpless in front of me,
With tubes coming out of you,
Coming out and going back in.
You had always been there to hold my hand,
Hold my hand when things got tough,
But now you’re just going,
Going somewhere I can’t ever reach you,
I no longer know you.

You came home for father’s day,
Father’s day was the last,
The last day that I’ll ever see you again,
The last day, please help me.
We gave you chocolate,
Chocolate and cards,
You gave the chocolate to us,
With a smile upon your face,
And said I love you.

So, we scooted off up to bed,
Going to bed with smiles upon our faces,
Because our dad loved us,
And we thought he was getting better.
If only I had said something more to you,
To you I would have said,
I love you too, so never leave me,
I’ll never be so scared,
All because of you.

Morning came and we said goodbye,
Said goodbye from the doorway,
Thinking that you would still be there when we got home,
Home, the place I grew up.
I was the happiest girl in the world that day,
Sharing my chocolate with all my friends,
Their dads never gave them that,
I had the best dad in the world,
My only dad in the world was you.

I ran out of school,
Ran, so I could see you,
But mum wasn’t there to pick me up,
Something was up, something was up
We got picked up by mum’s friend,
We wondered, wondered what was wrong,
And when we got back home,
Our relative’s cars were there,
All because of you.

We got through the door,
Through the door we would find,
Mum crying her eyes out in there,
Crying like a newborn baby.
My aunty Alex had her arms round her,
Holding her like a baby,
She said in between sobs,
Your dad has died,
I was too busy crying to hear you scream in pain.

We went through to the living room,
But the living room was more like a dead room,
My relatives were all crying,
We all comforted each other.
Then they went to their own homes,
Our home would be at Alex’s for a few days,
For a few days to sort ourselves out,
To grieve and learn that you weren’t coming back,
All because of you.

On the Tuesday, I meet Marion,
With Marion we went shopping,
She bought me a dolly,
A dolly to remind me of you.
With Aunty Marion, we wrote a prayer,
We wrote a prayer to say to you,
To say to you at the service,
I hope you heard, I hope you knew,
That my everything was you.

We went into school the next day,
The next day I was ready,
To tell my friends what had happened,
But they already knew.
They knew because mum phoned them,
She phoned and our teachers told,
Our classes they told,
And they said a prayer for us,
All because of you.

Thursday went by in a blur
Went by in a blur so I don’t remember much,
But Friday came and I remember that,
I remember because I saw you.
I saw you in that coffin,
In the coffin just lying there,
Looking deathly ale and helpless,
I wish there was something I could do,
Do, to make you come back.

We went in the room,
Into the room where you were,
Mum gave us a cross each,
A cross to remind us of you.
You always wanted us to have a cross,
And now we have one for the wrong reasons,
Because you should be here with us,
Not six feet under or wherever you are now,
All because of you.

So we left you alone with mum in the room,
Alone in the room to say your goodbyes,
To say your regrets and what if’s,
Because you were in love with one another like mad.
We joined your sister and brother in law,
Who went in next to say their goodbyes,
But if didn’t go,
If you didn’t die,
We wouldn’t have gone through that pain and suffering.

The weekend passed and your funeral came closer,
Of the weekend I don’t remember much,
I don’t remember because I was too busy,
Too busy crying and grieving for you.
Tuesday came, and we had decided,
Decided that your sister and brother in law,
Along with your mum,
Would come in the car with us,
All because of you.

We got to the crematorium,
And went inside the blackened hall,
Your friends and family were there,
Even my headmaster was there for us.
I cried, they all cried,
I cried until I got up on stage full of nerves,
And I smiled, thinking of the good times with you,
As if you were there, helping me along,
Because you loved me.

After the service, Aly went home,
She went home because she was ill,
And I just sat on the swing,
Numb inside and out.
We had the wake at the Oliver Cromwell,
Because that was were you and mum first met,
But I just sat, cried and stared into space for the whole of the wake,
Even though it was cold and wet,
All because of you

I never got back to normal for months,
But I got with life the best I could,
I got on with it because you would have wanted me to,
But you were no longer there for me.
Since then, you’ve watched out for me with the bad boys,
But I just want to let go,
Let go of you and lead my own life,
But watch over Aly and mum,
But let me go, dad please

So in this song,
I’m letting go of the bad and the wrong,
Asking you to look out for my family,
To always love me,
To let me let go of you,
To let go of me,
To tell you how I feel,
And to tell you that because of you,
I have, do and will always love you, no matter what,
And that I hope that I’ll see you one day in the future.

This poem is dedicated to my dad, who was very special to me and my heart, and died when I was only eight, and to make sure that his memory stays in his family and friends hearts forever more, because he was always there for me, and I love him so, but I need to let go somehow, and in this poem, I have done so. Thank you for your time.