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The Marino Mystery

AdvantagesFor your opinion

DisadvantagesFor your opinion

"Hi, everyone. I am really into writing stories at the moment - I would really like to be a writer. Probably no hope but this is a story I wrote when I was ten. I have like ten million saved on my computer and when I saw this on ciao i thought i would put one of my earliest on. This is only the beginning and I'm very sorry if it's awful hope you like it though ... CHAPTER ONE - IZZY Isabella Flavia Relli Marino's whole world revolved around ..." Read review
11.11.2008

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Extra Curricular: Chapter 1

AdvantagesSaved me writing a review

DisadvantagesYou'll see...

"I started writing a novel when I was a supply teacher/unemployed, a few years back. I got to about 28,000 words, decided it was mostly shit, then scrapped the biggest part of it and started again. Only, then I got a job and soon afterwards a computer, and all I seem to be able to motivate myself to do these days is look on Ciao to see if I've changed colour or something. So, in what will probably turn out to be a vain attempt to motivate myself to ..." Read review
21.03.2006

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Fade to Black

AdvantagesMy first attempt at fiction writing. Like, ever!

DisadvantagesIt's a bit dark, isn't it? And is it any good?

"When it became apparent that my 100th review, and my 2nd Ciao Anniversary/Birthday were likely to coincide, it became equally apparent that I'd have to do something a little special to mark the occasion. I took "something special" to mean "something new", and this is what that meant to me personally. I'm not a writer of fiction, or haven't been until now. There may be a very good reason for that, but fortune favours the bold, right? Either way, ..." Read review
30.08.2004

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Bend & Break Review with images

AdvantagesHopefully people will like it, especially if you like CSI.

DisadvantagesNot sure.

"Most of my friends on ciao know that I want to become a film director when I'm old enough, but I do also have a passion for writing. Over the years I have written quite a few screen plays, and maybe if I do well with the directing, I might be able to bring these screen plays forward and make them into a movie or even television show. For my 100th review, I wanted to write a story, one that is completely knew for this occasion. Back in English ..." Read review
03.04.2008

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Delusion

AdvantagesThe first chapter of my book

DisadvantagesNot sure if I can swear

"Ok, I'm kind of new to the Ciao cafe side of things, but I am currently writing a novel and thought I would share with you the first chapter. I apologise in advance for any offensive language, if anybody is offended please let me know and I will censor it. Thank you for reading. An ashen sky, that was how it started. But it was a matter of minutes before Alex Sewell knew something was wrong. He looked over the water to the land beyond and contemplated ..." Read review
21.04.2007

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Community Level 4steffee

steffee

Domestic Violence

AdvantagesUm... first draft.

DisadvantagesFIRST DRAFT!

"(Sorry for the crappy title, but I didn't want anyone to read this and have "triggers" or whatever...) THE LIES You know, the constant lies I had to tell were the worst. I was forced to fabricate accidents, feigning clumsiness, and to suffer the causetum of them. You'd assume I would feel shame, or embarrassment, at being known for being accident-prone, but I didn't. Oh, I suffered from guilt and shame, alright, but it was for the untruths, ..." Read review
05.06.2006

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Community Level 1susannaspe...

susannaspecial

Past attempt at story-11-14yrs

Advantagesi LOVED writing it

DisadvantagesNot good enough to make me an author :(

"Chapter one "That's it, George!" cried Mack Barber, smiling so broadly that his jaw was threatening to lock. "You're nearly there!" George Carter, his chubby cheeks so full with bread that they were threatening to burst at any moment, nodded with understanding, and with one quick movement began to shove more bread into his already-brimming mouth with a podgy finger. He resembled a greedy hamster: his nose twitching this way and that as he grunted ..." Read review
23.07.2008

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Community Level 6ruth_cole

ruth_cole

Storyfish

Advantagesyou tell me...

Disadvantages?!

"Storyfish She has her hands in the goldfish bowl again. Every morning, she reaches podgy, damp, sticky fingers into the box, pinches together a few fragile flakes and sprinkles them into the water; carefully she dips in her fingers to wash off the remaining crumbs. The fish shies away and then bobs back up to the surface, swallowing dolefully. The routine brings them both satisfaction: for her it is the official start to the day since her teacher ..." Read review
11.02.2004

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

The Kids Of MI:18 Vs The Agents Of SWERVE

AdvantagesGhosts, spies, children, death-chairs

DisadvantagesA heavy Enid Blyton influence

"So, hi and all that. I used to write here a while ago, like maybe a few months ago? No, it's cool if you don't remember, I wasn't really any good. I've been away for the past whatever length of time because I had to write dissertations and essays at university, and ponder the potential for metaphorical gender rape within Kate Atkinson novels. Y'know. I'm not particularly back at all, but I have recently just handed in my dissertation for university, ..." Read review
01.05.2009

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Community Level 5stevie-boy

stevie-boy

DEATH OF A TITAN

Advantagesn/a

Disadvantagesn/a

"Note: This is a short story which has been based on a factual event, the sinking of the Titanic. It is designed to show people what the “middle” class of people witnessed, as in nearly all the stories about the Titanic, the emphasis was placed on the First and the Third class section of Titanic, but hardly ever the Second class. This story is written in the 1st person, told through a fictional character I have created, to show you what it was actually ..." Read review
11.04.2004

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Desperate Times

AdvantagesMy first foray into the world of the novel

DisadvantagesProbably going to take a while to get through!

"Recently, a friend let me read her book. She'd spent months on it, and I have to admit to being both impressed and jealous, as I'd been saying for ages that I wanted to have a go at writing one. Anyway, I was inspired, and have started one for myself. This is the opening portion, and I figured that there was no better way to get constructive feedback than to let you discerning people have a look. Sorry, it's hefty, but if you can plough through it, ..." Read review
15.05.2006

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Community Level 8frkurt

frkurt

The monk

Advantagesa story

Disadvantagesa story

"Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you plan... ---------------- As I woke this morning, I was cold. The main fire in the centre of the building just doesn’t heat our cells very well. My brown coarse robe is heavy but there’s only so much one can do to combat the cold at this time of year. Just keep busy. I remember Thomas Becket is supposed to have told the King that the best way to fight the cold is with the cold’s own elements – splash ..." Read review
19.09.2004

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

The Scratching.

AdvantagesShort story - Fiction short enough to read in one sitting!

DisadvantagesNot to everyone's tastes, my first attempt at a short fiction story...!

"...America, and I'm afraid my fiction leaves a lot to be desired but nevertheless, here it is - like everything I write on Ciao - it's just meant to be entertaining. If so, then it's a successful piece in my eyes! Enjoy - The Scratching. Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. My name is Eddie Radford, and I am drunk. Dead Drunk. Legless. Try shitfaced, if you will and if you fancy it. I've been drunk before, sure I have - but never quite like ..." Read review
03.08.2006

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Community Level 5VickyVicks...

VickyVickster

My Angel Mission.

Advantagesthis is some of my writing, you might like it.

Disadvantagesthis is some of my writing, you might hate it.

" I have had a flurry of creativity. My 69th review was met with such enthusiasm here I am again, offering up one of my imagination babies to the critics here at ciao. This is something new for me, a completely non- romantic, non-erotic story and I hope you enjoy reading it. I am really nervous now. Better just get on and paste the story and submit it eh? *gulp* *please note given ratings are my fantasy...the rating I hope I get!* ------------------------------------------------------------------ It ..." Read review
24.08.2004

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Omnipresent

Advantages..........

Disadvantages..........

"The downpour was very heavy. The driver said "Sir, I can't see anything in front". Torrents of water were falling on the windscreen. I thought it would be better to halt at one of the wayside restaurants and have some refreshments, while the rainfall might slow down. I was travelling to Trivandrum, the capital city of Kerala State, my home state in Southern India. The driver negotiated a turn and drove the Ford Ikon into the parking area of The Tropical ..." Read review
25.07.2006

Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful