Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

I have been a stepparent for the last 13 years and although I can’t say unlucky 13, I’ve had more up’s and downs than a championship yoyo! My story is quite a long one and it has caused me many a year of heartache, desperation, excitement and happiness. The array of emotions that you go through when being a stepparent is countless, the number of sleepless nights you may have are countless, the amount of love you may receive is immeasurable but the ...
...enormous. This is no disrespect to the children and I will tell you about them shortly and not everyone will have the same difficulties that I have experienced. I think that one of the most important factors is how easy or how difficult the ex-partner and parent of the stepchildren makes it. In my case it has been a living nightmare, not just for me but also for my husband and the children themselves. This is my story……… I met my husband at work ...

criple 03.07.2002 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

Being a parent can be tough at times and so can being a step parent. I have been a step parent for seven years now and although it is the hardest challenge I have ever faced, it has to be one of the most rewarding. I wont lie to you, I was 17 when I took on my boyfriends four daughters. At the beginning I found it quite difficult but we all adjusted well. I didn't have a clue what was expected of me to start with and things were awkward at times. ...
...does now and things have worked out well for us. I hope that I have helped our children grow and develop into independant women, who know what they want. Along the way they have taught me a thing or two aswell. I thought the fact that they had a mother, that wasn't me, was going to be a problem. I wasn't sure if I had what it took to take on someone elses children. I wasn't sure how to act around them! I opted for being a friend instead of a mother ...

purebitch 05.05.2003 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

Hello genteel readers…I know I have been gone for a while….but I am trying to get back into the swing of things. I am a stepparent…..and I find it very hard. I would like to tell you I love all my stepchildren like my own, but I cannot, and I think I find that the bitterest pill to swallow. I have 4 stepchildren ages 21, 20, 18, 9…subtract 4 years and that’s the age when I met them. They hated me then. Now? They ‘tolerate’ me…...and hey I am usually ...
...and Dad did not sleep in the same bed room years before I met their Dad…..I (in their) eyes broke up the family home……’who cares if mummy or daddy is happy as long as I get my new game station or riding lessons’….right? I did go into this with my eyes open…..I knew I could never replace (or want too!) their mom…I just wanted to be ‘friends’…and darn it, I wanted to get along and have them like me. (Ok…so I thought my eyes were open!) My first taste ...

Stacee 29.04.2003 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

I met my husband five years ago. Both of us went through divorce and both had children from our former marriages. He has two wonderful daughters and I have three gorgeous girls. Five fantastic daughters between the ages of twelve and twenty two. I went through a horrific divorce. My husband's was easier, no real complications. But despite this, divorce is never easy for the children. And remarrying is even harder. Meeting each other's kids was something ...
...my husband before I met his daughters. They seemed to like him. He had the hardest time breaking the ice with my oldest. She took the whole divorce issue the hardest. So therefore, she was very judgemental. Initially she thought he didn't talk enough. What she didn't understand was that he was just as nervous meeting her, as she was meeting him. My husband was a housefather for many years, so he was very comfortable around kids, especially girls. ...

Lgair 15.10.2001 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

Most people would find the thought of bringing up some one else’s children a daunting task. I was divorced, and had two children, that stayed to live with me. I stayed on my own for five years, before I met someone else. By then my children were 13 and 17 years old. My new man was 10 years younger than me and had been in a rocky relationship, he never married, but had three children with his partner. I have always loved children, as you get ...
...about meeting them, but when the time came it was fine. His children were aged between 3, and 7, a lot younger than mine were. They were very backward for their ages and did not know right from wrong. They were very active kids and fought like cats and dogs, on every visit. The children were on the at risk register with social services and had been since birth. We had decided that as we had five children between us, that the best thing was for me ...

Deni 18.10.2001 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

I am not sure that this is totally the right category,but I am sure it is near enough. Please bear with me? I am a step parent. I have been for 16 years. I am also a parent with four children of my own. I am writing this as my story is unusual- well, I hope it is unusual because I would hate to think of too many others going through the heartache I have. I have never met my step-daughters . There are two of them. I won't tell you their names as I ...
...possible that they, or somebody they know might use this site and point them in the direction of this op! One can hope, eh? Let me tell you my story: 16 years ago I divorced my first husband. Lovely chap- we are still friends, we just married far too young. We had three young children of 6,5 and 2. It was an amicable divorce and we shared custody and care and control. Their father eventually re-married and his wife has made a fantastic step-mum. ...

water-witch 30.10.2001 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

Being a step-parent isn't always easy. You're basically taking on a role that no one can predict the outcome. Specially so if you yourself are a parent. You have your own pre-concieved ideas of how kids should behave. What you do and don't find acceptable behaviour. So taking on someone elses children can be difficult. My advice to anybody taking on this role or finding themselves in the position where it's likely to happen is to take a step back ...
...maybe feeling. It's not easy for them. The way I look at it is their parent chose you,they didn't. They have to have time to adjust and get used to you. They will be fearful that you will take the said parent away from them. Worried that things will change in a way that they don't consider acceptable to them. I found the best way to do this was to be myself. To talk to them on their level, by this I don't mean condiscending or patronising. But genuinely ...

Multtinems 04.09.2004 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

Being a stepparent can be really difficult but if you love your partner then you have to take what comes with him/her. I met my partner when I was working as a barmaid in our local club. I was 18 and enjoying life, not really looking for a partner. Little did I know that I would soon have a partner and 6 kids. lol We flirted and over a period of time, I started to fancy him more and more. I knew him as a bit of a party animal and never realised ...
...We started going out and spending all our time together and I moved in with him after just two weeks. He told me in the first few days about his kids but I never really took it in. I just knew I really liked him. My partner has 5 children from his previous marriage, a 16 yr. old girl, a 14 year old girl, a 9 year old girl and twin 5 year old boys. His eldest daughter was living with him (she was then 14), At first it was really difficult as I am ...

slam19uk 08.10.2002 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

I have been a step mum for over 6 years now and I have to admit that it has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done. My husband and I have had many ups and downs throughout our entire relationship. Having read some of the other opinions on Ciao, it is a relief to know I am not alone. When I first met my husband it all seemed like fun. Visiting him and the two small children (a girl 4yrs and a boy 6yrs), going to the park, having water ...
...lived as three months down the line I became pregnant! I was 25yrs old, naïve and still immature. The thought of having a baby was exciting and preparations were hastily made for us to marry before the birth. This felt like the right thing to do for the sake of the baby. My wedding felt like it wasn't really mine, my mother in-law insisted that the children had to be a bridesmaid and pageboy and carry the rings and flowers. She proceeded to ensure ...

meggie1 17.02.2003 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

I am a 17 year old girl and the best thing that ever happened to me was my dad meeting my step mum and her son Ash. Right you will need to know some family details first. I have two sisters, one younger and one older. I have a step brother (Ash) and a little brother Isaac My step mum's name is Mandy and we hate the phrase 'step mum' it sounds so horrible! I had a pretty horrible time living with my mum after my parents split up and as a result ...
...know how my Mandy put up with me! My dad first met Mandy when i was 12 and at first i wasn't sure i wanted to share my dad with her. After a few days out, i soon realised that i didnt want to share her with my dad! At this point things where quite bad living with my mum and i was begging to live with my dad. After years of court battles i finally came to live with my dad when I was 13. Mandy and dad did not live together yet at this point but ...

xdxexbx 17.10.2006 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

I married late in life. My husband has two grown kids who are very close to their mother. He and his first wife had been married a long time before he met me, and he divorced her to marry me, so it was a very difficult time for everyone. His ex is, by all accounts, a lovely woman who deserved better than she got. When he told his kids about what was happening in his life, they naturally were very upset and announced that they hated me and never ...
...pushed anything, and after two years, they both turned around and agreed to meet me. We got along fine. We invited them to our (very small) wedding, and to my surprise, they agreed to come. Since then, I've made sure that they know they are always welcome in our house; I'm interested in their lives; they are free to talk about their mother; I encourage them to spend time with their father, both with me and without; and I've tried to let them know ...

DaisyRose 04.12.2003 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

I became a stepmum about four years ago, my partner had a son from a previous relationship, i had two girls from a previous relationship, so we both became step parents. My stepson moved in with us about one year and four months ago, before then he was visiting and staying in all the school holidays. My stepson was more or less thrust upon me as his father works full time and i stay at home and look after the kids. During the time before he came ...
...more children effectively making him a big brother which he was and was'nt fond of he would rather have all attention for himself, he used to love visiting, coming down from up north to see his brother and sister, and on occation he would ask if he could come and live with us. That finally happened but not under the circumstances that he would have chose, you see his mother was going off the rails just a bit and he did not see the danger that she ...

ginger1969 23.05.2005 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

Well my story started in March '2001. I met my current husband Andy. At the time I was still with my ex husband and Andy was seperated, going through his divorce. One day things got too much and my ex left. I called Andy and he said he would come over for a few days (he lived 40 miles away) He is still here and we are now married! He told me when he came over that he had a 7yr old son called Laurence. Well at the time I wasnt really bothered as we ...
...happen in the near future. A few days later we went back to his house (his ex had moved out and in with her new boyfriend, they were in the process of selling the house) for a while and I met his son for the first time, we got on straight away. I also met his ex for the first time, all she could do was make snide comments like "it wont last". A week or so he broke the news to Laurence that he was moving in with me in Lincoln, he originally lived ...

uk_girl_nikki 11.07.2003 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

I have been together with my husband for 6 years, married for three years. My step son is now 8 years old. When I met my husband he was divorced from my step sons mother, and had been for one year, my husband had lots of contact with his son (infact he nearly saw him every day). My husband Mike and step son Jason had a very good relationship. When myself and Mike got together I accepted that he had a child and I was looking forward to being a part ...
...realise was what the future would bring and how difficult it would be, not to have a good relationship with Mike and Jason but the problem of my husbands ex wife. From day one of my husbands ex wife knowing that we were together was a difficult time, I was not allowed to be introduced to Jason contact between Jason and Mike became less and less. When myself and Mike were out socialising together and his ex wife was out I was subject to being pushed ...

suzzie27 12.07.2004 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent

I have found yet another subject on which to be contentious. I am a step-parent and it has been a mixture of success and disaster. I have mixed feelings on the subject but will share with you some of the experiences that I have had to deal with and some of the mistakes I made in the early days. It was quite a complicated situation at the time but at the time of writing things have now settled down and I like to think that overall I have been a successful ...
...you think. I would value opinions and feedback on this one. Seven years ago I got divorced. I had been married for twenty years and the break up was due to adultery, twice by my former wife. I had four children, and they were a daughter aged 18, a son aged 15, a son aged 13 and a son aged 2. When the break up occurred my ex-wife took the 2 year old with her. My daughter was living with her boyfriend. The 2 remaining boys had the choice of going ...

milleniumzeus 15.12.2003 (17.12.2003) · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Being a Step Parent