Member Advice on Bereavement

I felt it was time I wrote about my experiences with death and how I myself have and are coping now. The reason i decided to do it now is on the 16th of this month my daughter has been gone 7 years. My sister this year in october will have also been gone 7 years. I lost them both within 6 months of each other, I hope to see things differently myself and hopefully help others coping with the immense pain death brings. We are now casting our minds ...
...become pregnant again. My pregnancy was plagued with problems from the start but it never occurred really that something bad was going to happen. During my screening tests for spinal bifida which i might add I always have had done. They went through the usual why to test, etc. I signed the form and had it done. Went away and for the next week totally forgot about it. However after a rushed and panicked call from the midwife this was set to change. ...

Playgirl27 06.04.2006 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

There are times in everyone's life when for a brief moment we think about death. As we grow older we think about our Grandparents dying and then as we get older still we occasionally think about our own Parents dying, before pushing the dreadful thought to the back of our minds. From time to time we even think about our own death and our own immortality, but the death of a Partner is something that I had never even contemplated until earlier this ...
...of bereavement for my 350th Ciao review, and I know that it will be the hardest review that I will ever write, but I have decided to write it for many reasons, and I make no excuses for publishing it today on what would have been my Partner, Trevor's 38th Birthday. Most of us have lost someone very close and dear and that experience for each and every one of us is unique. It is something that has to be dealt with in a very individual and personal ...

micksheff 04.08.2006 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

When I was a little girl my dad was my champion, my guide, the one who I turned to in times of need and the one who loved me unconditionally and repeatedly told me no matter what I did I would never lose him. I lost him. It has been five years since my dad died and there is not a day that goes by that I do no think about him. He may not always be in the forefront of my mind but he is there lurking in the recesses, ready to come out with a sharp ...
...How I miss his voice and his humour. for you to get a better picture of him, let me start at the beginning of our journey together as a family; the journey that saw us lose our backbone. September 1999 My dad was taken into hospital after a routine blood test showed an abnormally low amount of red blood cells in his blood sample. I was at work when he was taken into hospital and was called at the office by my distraught mum. I can remember asking ...

pooliebaby 25.06.2005 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

This is the first personal review I have written, so dont know if it will be any good, but I am speaking from my heart, and if it helps even one person come to terms with the loss of their loved one it will be worth it. MY STORY While I was growing up, my mum was my best friend. We shared everything and I told her everything. The thought of her ever not being there was inconceivable and I never thought it would happen. Then 5 years ago it did. ...
...dad and I went to work, leaving her in bed having a lie in. As always, I took her up a cup of tea before I left, and she gave me a hug and told me how much she loved me. I said I loved her too and those were the last words we ever said to each other. I now take great comfort in the fact that she left knowing how I felt about her. That afternoon, while I was on my tea break, my boss came in and told me that my dad had went home and found my mum dead ...

lesleyanne2 05.03.2005 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

At the age of 16 I've had to face one of the most painful, traumatic experiences anyone could ever have... losing someone close to you... This is hard for me to write as it's still something I'm sensetive about but if I can help someone with my experience, it's worth it. My Nan had always been there for me. When I was born she gave up her job to look after me so that my Mom didn't have to. Everyday I'd see her, we'd paint, sing, I'd help her with ...
..."Nanny-Mom" as I saw her as some sort of second mother. As the years went on we regained our closeness. I'd still see her every weekday and phone her every Sunday night, I could tell her anything, things I couldn't tell my Mom. When it came to me going to high school I only saw her every Thursday, I still felt close to her but I felt she was becoming more distant from me. I asked my Mom if anything was wrong with her, it did cross my mind she may ...

x__Kelli__x 24.10.2004 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

Losing a loved one is always painful and everyone has his or her own way of dealing with the grief. Last year was an awful time for me. In the space of 6 months I lost 2 close relatives in my family and both of my husbands’ grandmothers died within weeks of each other. It always seemed that there was a funeral to go to, and I had long since forgotten how to smile. As the months slowly crawled into each other, and my tears had started to dry, life ...
...me one day for a chat and she seemed a long way from her normal cheery self. She had not long had a baby, so I put her subdued mood down to tiredness due to the lack of sleep, but I asked her how she was anyway. She said she was fine, but was feeling a bit low and could do with a bit of company. So, I decided to round the kids together and got ready for the short drive in the car to her house. When I arrived at the house, she was already standing ...

wardenblw431 22.10.2004 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

...upset me about a young member of our family, who has now been in hospital for a week. The thought that he could have died absolutely horrified me. So where am I on this bereavement scale? Will another death tip me over the edge? I now realize that I do need to go back for more counseling on bereavement. I need to be able to face the future, I know what will happen to people, I don't know when, but it is inevitable. I have not written this for anyone ...
...there are far more people out there who have experienced far worse than I. I consider I am lucky to have been able to work through my most of my experiences and to get some degree of comfort. My journey is not complete. I have noticed that there is a pattern here, when things were bad they got worse and my health or relationships suffered. Naturally there is far more here hidden between the lines and other things that I have not even mentioned. ...

teacherofhooch 29.06.2004 (25.06.2005) · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

...sorry if you're that family member and eventually become sick of it. I've had two family members who were like best friends die and two other close members in my family die. I'm writing this now however, to refresh my memory of how I felt, and because a friend has just lost a close relative. I will split this advice 'column' as you could call it into sections and I hope this helps anyone else out there going through the same thing. *Coping with ...
...a friend close to you who has just lost someone* *Coping long term with a death of a relative and Moving On* *Remembering them* *Coping with the death of a loved one yourself* When someone close to you dies, there are a lot of things running through your mind. If the person who has just passed away has been in hospital for a long time, then you seem to be at more of ease with their death than a freak accident or a sudden death such as a car crash. ...

angiebabyqueen 26.03.2006 (12.06.2006) · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

...I really lost a family member I adored. My Nanna turned 100 in January and all of us went up to Lincoln to see her on the actual day. We stayed a few days up there and also went to her party at the weekend, which was a lovely event. Sadly, that was the last time we were ever to see her. My Nanna was an amazing woman. She was fiercely independent. Widowed in the mid-1970s, she continued to live in the marital home until a couple of months before ...
...in her 99th year. She loved dancing and passed her teaching exam in her eighties. She also had a huge amount of love for her family. She worried about everyone. Even in her final months in the nursing home, she asked me to make sure my Dad (aged 61) was eating properly! Even when she was ill, she insisted my aunt sent my kids their pocket money. She hated seeing doctors and only spent time in the hospital in those last few months. At the end, we ...

KarenUK 16.03.2007 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

I thought I knew a lot about emotional turmoil, as I had a very difficult childhood and suffered from Post Traumatic Stress as a result of it. I thought I had got everything sussed and was a person that could deal with anything life threw at me. However nothing that had gone before prepared me for dealing with the loss of my husband a few years ago. He was diagnosed with cancer in the January, and died on Fathers Day six months later, at the age ...
...During his illness (see op on Testicular Cancer) I coped well, (so I am told), but like a lot of people I was really on automatic pilot. In any case, at that stage I had two fifteen years old to look after, as well as an ailing partner, so there wasn't a great deal of time to reflect on abyss opening at my feet. I was also a part-time child minder, and juggled my responsibilites with hospital visiting and sorting out Ians financial affairs. After ...

ICECOLD 27.09.2003 (13.07.2005) · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

...this then remember that family member or friend needs you, don't make a big thing of it, just pop in now and again to see how they are feeling. It takes so very little but it means so much. This week I am trying to be there for my friend, I went through it when her father died at just 60 years old. I am just a family friend but I saw what both my friend and her mother went through afterwards. It's hard then to be just a friend, you feel you have ...
...friend can see what others dismiss, that stiff upper lip starts to tremble and then its time to come forward and share their feelings. Be patient, learn to listen and never feel you are not wanted as a friend. If the bereavement is yours then don't suffer in silence because there are people to help you. I feel so sorry for the people that have no one to turn to because there are people that care, volunteers that can just listen, bake a cake, even ...

Elffriend 12.05.2005 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

On Sunday 7th October 2001, 11year old Joseph Stone died. Joseph lived a "normal" life. "Normal" in that he had asthma, which today is so common as to seem normal. His asthma did not seem to affect his way of life. He was a live wire, as strong as an ox and he participated whole-heartedly in his favourite sport, football. For a small lad he had a massive personality and everywhere Joe went he gave light and radiance for others to share in. Joseph ...
...could manage and the money he was earning was going towards his first mobile phone. An essential item for a young man who had just met his first girlfriend! The day Joseph died was much like any other. He went "conker-ing" with his sister and later went for tea at his grandmas. I had a call around 5pm saying that he felt ill and would I go and pick them up. I said I would leave straight away. 20 minutes later I arrived. I was greeted by my barefooted ...

horizon173 25.04.2005 (27.04.2005) · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

Christmas is one of those times along with Birthdays and Anniversaries that the ones you have lost are so very much missed. These are my feelings on Bereavement as Brereavement can be different for each person.It also depends on your loss. This is a difficult one for me to write as there are no real words to explain those feelings of deep pain. When my Husband first died I had no idea that the pain of loss could be so very painful, there is this ...
...hurts, a pain that no painkiller could take away. They say there are five stages you have to go through to grieve and I went through them all how long each stage lasts depends on each individual there are no hard and fast rules here. I was told that it takes around two years to accept and if your pain goes on longer it is advisable to get professional help to get you through. I found that the hardest time for me was first thing in the morning, I ...

mrsatchmo 08.01.2005 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

Being stationed in England while my family is dealing with their own problems back in America is hard for anyone in that kind of position. I was over in Japan when I lost both my grandmother and grandfather only a few years ago, but losing my father just last month was something I could not bear, partiularly when my family didn't even want me to come home! Probably the worst thing to deal with is when a colleague of mine (now an ex-friend) said when ...
...say I don't agree with him, but anyone can stipulate that that is the very LAST thing to say to someone when they lose a loved one, particalarly if it's a direct relative. I arrived in the UK in late March, it was in late April when I found out my father had been in the hospital for three weeks and I didn't even know about it! His name was Steve and had a successful career as a English teacher for 20 years, but retired after a mental breakdown back ...

eve6kicksass 20.09.2003 (25.12.2003) · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement

Ive been lurking around the Ciao Cafe for a while now wondering whether to dip my feet in and wet my toes, as one would urm say. I thought i would begin with something that im coming to terms with slowly, someone whom i miss so much yet find it hard to talk about to anyone without bursting into tears. This will probably prove therapeutic. Well thats what im hoping, they say talking about bereavement and dealing with it head on is the way to go. Im ...
...about it still. My mum met David 12 years ago. She had been a single mother of me and my sister and on her own for 7 years up to that. She always said she liked being single. She liked being able to snore in bed, lie legs spread-eagled taking up her king size bed and watch her soaps without anyone grumbling. She had been hurt before by my dad and was very weary about any man. The fear of getting hurt was a major thing to my mum. I can remember the ...

cherwaite 03.08.2006 · Read full review
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Review of Member Advice on Bereavement