The Postillion Has Been Struck By Lightning.
 Mar 26th, 2003
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  Schmutzie
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Member since:17.09.2002
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'The Postillion Has Been Struck By Lightning'.
This phrase has entered the language as a verbal eccentricity, the rather odd opening entry in one of the first published foreign language phrasebooks in Regency times. Perhaps it’s not as ludicrous as at first it seems. Consider, if you were doing the Grand Tour in 1800, rattling through some little Alpine mountain village, and a dreadful storm broke out, you might well want to tell the indigenous populace if a bolt from above had finished off your coachman. I have a wonderful collection of phrase books. My favourite has to be a French one from the 1920s, which contains such memorable phrases as:
Do not starch my cummerbund.
This wine cooler has grit in it. Bring me another.
Polish my dancing pumps.
(Note the autocratic omission of ‘please’).
Another great one is an Italian phrase book given to my uncle when he was in the army in Italy in 1944, which has these gems:
Please direct me to the German tanks.
This weapon is not loaded. (Bet that was a lie, whichever weapon he meant).
I do not wish to come with you. (Another lie too, no doubt, in some circumstances).
I shall dig a latrine here. (Let’s hope this was never used in the Vatican or La Scala, Milan).
These days, we need something much more practical, so that we can cope with travel, food, shopping, finding an Internet
café, buying sun cream and ice cream, posting cards home, any and all of the stuff that people do when they’re on holiday or business in a non-English-speaking country. One of the biggest lies in many travel books is ‘everyone speaks English’. Not off the beaten track they don’t, even in countries where it’s taught as a second language. The Dutch are probably the best linguists in the world, but there are plenty who speak only Dutch. Most phrase books are adequate. The Rough Guide books offer a great deal more.
They are a useful size, about the area of a man’s palm. On the cover there is always an attractive colour photograph of some notable spot in the country whose language is featured. My only criticism of the whole series is that the paper cover is a bit flimsy, and soon gets tatty being pulled out of pockets or bags. I’ve got round this by reinforcing with sellotape the covers of those I use a lot. The paper inside is cheap and lives up to the title ‘rough’, but at the price (see later) I’m not complaining. The print is perfectly clear, and the entries easy to read. The books all follow the same plan, though extra bits of information relevant to each country will be different. I’ve just pulled one out at random, and it’s the German phrase book.
You kick off with one page on pronunciation of the alphabet, and then abbreviations. It’s useful just to look through this, but there’s no need to try to learn anything. There are then sixteen pages of basic grammar. I do recommend reading this, but don’t try to learn this, either. It’s just that if you’re unfamiliar with German some things may puzzle you, like why word-endings seem to change. This will make it clear.
If you’re interested in grammar, then it’s a helpful, basic guide to the rules. You come next to dates, telling the time and numbers, and then the main body of the book. You will see that it is set out like a mini dictionary, with words and phrases in alphabetical order, the English section coming first. All the German words and phrases are given an approximate pronunciation in brackets. In that way it’s the same as most books of this sort. But you soon begin to spot the extras. How they pack so much in is a near miracle. I looked up ‘dialling code’. The word is die Vorwahl. But dialling the UK from Germany has certain complications, and these are explained in simple detail.
Next I looked at ‘telephone’. German public phones, their colours and their operation are dealt with, and you are instructed how to use the telephones in post offices, which is a system unlike anything we have here. You could waste a lot of time not knowing things like this.
The book is just crammed with useful information of this sort, far too much of it to list, but interesting entries concern German wines, hotel bookings, banks, motorway breakdowns. The German-English section follows. This includes such helpful items as street signs, wine labels and taxis.
Finally, there is a menu reader for food and another for drink. German compound nouns can crack English jaws, so if you want shark’s fin soup, either practise saying it beforehand, or point to the entry. It’s Haifschflossensuppe. Try saying that with a few glasses of wine in you. Come to that, try saying it sober. Just don’t also order a dish of Petersilienkartoffeln (parsley potatoes) unless you’re very confident or a German speaker.
You will find all the entries you’d expect, and there are even a few phrases for coping with the opposite sex. Strangely, the books seem to assume that these advances will be of the unwanted variety; though perhaps it’s not so strange. Most of my encounters abroad have not been much welcomed. It’s all kept polite but firm.
Again, these little books really know the score. Instructions in my Turkish book for seeing off unwelcome attention are quite different. You do not speak. You ignore the pest, who will usually go away, but if necessary you appeal to female passers by. These things are essential to know, particularly if you’re a woman without a male companion. Only once have I really made a prat of myself not having a good phrase book to hand. Fresh from A level Spanish, I was not yet aware of the traps linguistic life sets for us. I had met a very dishy but very straightlaced young man in Madrid. I asked if I could have his comb. He looked aghast. I asked again, rather imperiously. He walked away, and that was the end of that.
The Spanish for ‘comb’ is ‘peine’. I’d been insisting on him producing his ‘pene’. And I don’t have to tell you what that means. Even if you’re fairly fluent in the language a phrasebook can come in very handy.
The books range in price. I’ve seen some at £2.99, some up to £4.99. At the top price they are still a bargain. The combination of words and phrases of the sort you’ll really need, together with the extra information about life and customs in the country, is absolutely invaluable. The list on the Rough Guide site has some curious omissions. Only two Indian languages appear, and there’s no book for the Scandinavian tongues. Spanish seems a bit overdone in comparison, with South American, Mexican and Castillian Spanish. But I suppose they know what the demand is.
If you’re planning your summer holiday abroad, make sure you pop a Rough Guide phrasebook in your hand luggage. It will prove a great travelling companion.
Gute Reise! © Schmutzie 2003
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24.04.2003 22:55
I like German, despite its foibles. In German one sounds like a machine-gun going off. It's not pretty. To whit: the 'butterfly' in English is a graceful 'papillon' in French. It's reduced to 'Schmetterling' in German...
21.04.2003 16:24
These sound invaluable, especially as I am planning a touring trip into Europe in the summer. Andy.
19.04.2003 19:43
Reminded me of a social event in Argentina where I approached a lady and intended to offer her a drink (bebida). Unfortunately I offered her a baby (bebita)! Well, you live and learn.