Advantages Loads of new words
Disadvantages Waffling champ!
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Author: Gyles Daubeney Brandreth
Seeing him is believing his eccentricities that is, and in the late nineteen nineties I did see him on an cold October night, I spotted the 'creature' of Brandreth; downstairs in a Borders book basement under a spot-light amongst his adoring ancient fans - gazing at their 'Gyles' - in awe at the knit-ware he was parading that reminded me of an experimental drip-painting by Jackson Pollock; armed with the unmistakable silver-spooned melodic vocals. Not that he was being tuneful, he was merely gargling with dialogue, just warming up. Suddenly, his face expressed anxiety; a burst of anger erupted shattering the near silence. He was reading an extract from an angry writer, obviously. It was short-lived, and he moved on. Another piece of literature was handed too him as if it was a gift from a higher force of intellect. Or of the same breeding as Gyles, the only one in the room able to read out the beautiful scriptures and do it with self assured 'arrogant' justice. It was all exhilarating, surreal, and for hours I had his vocals looping about in my ear-drums, trying to get out. He reminded me of an ultra eccentric, semi camp, Tony Blair who hadn't come down from his night of indulging on magic mushrooms; locked in a time when 'Hippies' dressed up in wooly carpets; when 'free love' was available, regardless of hairiness and hygiene.
Please note; there is something I must warn you about Gyles; he does spontaneously combust into a tourette style spasm of 'French.' In the world of Brandreth, only quaint, beautiful words will surpass; pâté en brioche: translates: pâté in pot; so much better sounding in French. I'm not convinced Brandreth is coherent in 'French.' For a shoulder shrugging native Frenchman living on a Barge in Lyon, I hasten a guess he'll not have a clue if Gyles galvanized his polished French vocabulary at the Monsieur with such intent French gusto. Ah the wonders of 'Franglaise! - Only to get the mandatory French snub, stroke audio 'pfuhh!' - The same goes in French restaurants; to the untrained English ear his French would sound absolutely perfect; while choosing his menu. However, the management knows what he wants, smiles apologetically, and avidly plays along with the joke, again and again. "Ah Gyles like his little joke, eh!" - Petite blague. Ah one for the diary Gyles, remember to document that anecdote. The silver cronies will laugh at that; they'll be knitting Brandreth's ear warmers while reading that part; while viewing 'CountDown' saying: "CountDown, is not the same without our 'Gyles."
Did you know that our Gyles rubbed oil into Frankie Howerd's groin? Howerd knew Brandreth was gro-in places.
Obviously, it is very tantalizing for his loving wife; while unraveling his layers after making that two hour adjustment to a diary anecdote, in the dead of night - making the posting infinitely less realistic but far more amusing according to the world of Brandreth. His love for his family is for all of us to be endeared to. Close friends' such as Stephen Milligan MP, while Brandreth was a Member of Parliament: Chester constituency 1992-95; made absurd observations that Gyles was aware of public image; Milligan quoted: "You won't ever see Gyles wear a bin-liner or a Snoopy costume." Whatever floats your boat Milligan; I don't think you can gauge some-ones fashion sense by whether they would wear a bin-liner or a Snoopy costume. I can't see Gok Wan saying: "Now what's it to be - a bin-liner or Snoopy outfit? Now if bin-liners were made wooly; that'll feed Gyles's fetish, as would lying in a field of extremely wooly sheep, partially naked, except for a Conservative tie; spouting out scenes from Richard III, as day breaks.
Robert Maxwell (yes he did die in 1991, washed up like a beech Whale somewhere exotic) He aided Brandreth with Pension advice, among some 'lovey' talk. Maxwell was admired by Gyles (at the time) based on his nautical skill of swimming in from Czechoslovakia from humble circumstances, sadly to British shores. Brandreth believed every word. Why shouldn't he Maxwell was a very rich influential man with the highest of regards to personal integrity. Like every Tory he was blinded by gold coinage.
Fascinating read if you are destined to travel via train to a Scottish Island.
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Perfect Paperback, Hodder and Stoughton Ltd.
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