Splat Stan Drinks Coaster > Reviews (2)

Splat Stan Coaster

I've always had a taste for the slightly macabre and when it comes to anything that can brighten up the regular monotony of life I usually fall for it hook, line and sinker. Okay, so it's slightly ironic that something as morbid as a small orange man crushed by a large drinking vessel can be uplifting in any way but it certainly raises a smile with me.

I first saw this on Firebox.co.uk and immediately pictured it in my lounge sitting underneath my favourite mug. I couldn't justify spending £8 on a novelty item at the time so with what I deem to be a heroic show of willpower and restraint I added it to my mental wish list and moved on. Well, not so heroic after all as I was back two days later filling in my card details.

Crime Scene Investigation

What exactly is Splat Stan? Simply put, it (he) is a coaster - but a coaster with a difference. The Splat Stan coaster is designed to mimic an unfortunate incident where Stan has been crushed by a large mug of tea. Not a great way to go I'm sure you'll agree but one that induces amusement from me as well as many others who have seen him in my lounge. The end result is a semi-splatted corpse which you can use to place your drink on. Delightful!

It's a product which is clearly aimed at those who like to take life less seriously and wish to introduce a bit of black humour into their sitting room. I agree that not everyone will appreciate having a miniature crime scene in their front room but it is purely tongue-in-cheek. This product perfectly appeals to my love of quirky things and I am delighted to add Stan to my collection of novelty housewares.

By Accident or Design?

The Splat Stan Coaster is manufactured from bright orange silicone rubber by Suck UK (an eyebrow raising company name, I agree). It measures roughly 15cm diagonally from Stan's right foot to left hand and has a large flat area acting as a coaster for your glass or mug. This area is 9cm in diameter so will be able to hold even the biggest of your drinking vessels. It is ideal for cups, mugs, glasses and bottles.

The unfortunate Stan who was just standing in the wrong place at the wrong time is completely smooth apart from two large crosses for eyes - just to clarify for the unsure that he is in fact deceased. He resembles a thinner version of the Plasticine character Morph, minus the jolly countenance, and has simplistic mitten like hands which I think is a nice feature. This makes him look less life-like and ultimately less distressing in nature.

Facing upwards, the left side of his body has been splatted and extends outwards to provide you with a place to put your drink. Purely coincidental or are suspicious circumstances afoot? You decide.

A Beneficial Demise

Fear not though because Stan's demise is not without benefit as in death he is incredibly useful as a coaster. Made from silicone rubber, Splat Stan provides a very good non-slip surface for your mug so it won't go sliding around and the coaster itself will stay firmly in its place on your table.

Another advantage of being made from silicone rubber is that he is I think fair to say, indestructible. That is as long as you don't go at him with a pair of large scissors or toss him on the fire. But then hasn't the poor bloke suffered enough?

He's quite flexible and bendy as well and so you can bend his arms and legs slightly if you want. In some of my less productive moments I've often amused myself by using his outstretched arm to fling small bits of paper across the table. I'll admit this doesn't say much about me but I can assure you it is quite fun (still not convinced? Never mind, let's move on...)

As for his actual purpose as a coaster, he performs admirably and has never let me nor my brew down yet. I have a wide collection of mugs all varying in sizes and shapes and each one fits easily onto Splat Stan's remains. I have even used Stan to hold my breakfast bowl which shows how versatile the coaster is. This will depend on the size and shape of your bowl though but I would say that you can place a fairly large bowl onto Stan without any problem.

A Little Inconsiderate of Stan...

A small disadvantage is that Stan's body can sometimes get in the way (the non-splatted part that is). Some of my mugs have low handles and this prevents me placing them on the coaster with the handle above Stan's body. In these cases I have to position the mug so that the handle is facing away from Stan. This is sometimes annoying when I try to put my drink down and the coaster is facing the wrong way. I then have to either move the coaster using my free hand or flirt with disaster by attempting to swivel the mug around in my hands. This isn't a great issue but puts him at a disadvantage to my other completely circular coasters. Of course this problem only occurs with some mugs and doesn't exist when placing a glass or non-handled drinking vessel on him.

Clean Up this Mess

Stan is very easy to clean which, if you're anything like me and slop tea and coffee all over the place, is a useful characteristic. I just rinse him under the warm tap most of the time but when I've been particularly messy or if any spilt tea/coffee has dried I have to bring out the scrubbing brush and fairy liquid. A few seconds later and he's as good as new. He dries remarkably quickly as well because water slides off the silicone rubber a bit like it does off a Teflon frying pan. A quick dab with a tea-towel is all that's needed to dry him off and back on the table he goes.

The only minor difficulty, if you can call it that, is cleaning dried drink marks out of the curved crevice that runs along the join between the splatted area and Stan's body. You may need to manoeuvre your scrubbing brush or dish cloth to get in there to make sure it's thoroughly clean. However, because Splat Stan is quite flexible you can bend him out of shape to help you get into this crevice more easily. I don't think he will mind.

Price, Availability and the Verdict

The Splat Stan Coaster is available from Amazon.co.uk for £5.

58 as well as various other online gadget retailers for a similar price. It is a little cheaper than when I bought it a couple of years ago and therefore represents even better value. I would have no hesitation in making the same purchase again today.

Splat Stan is a fantastically morbid novelty coaster which I would highly recommend if you can tolerate (and appreciate) the black comedy behind the idea and wish to brighten up your coffee table. It is similarly priced to many other novelty coasters and will provide you with a great place to keep your drinks as well as a point of conversation when guests come round. However, the nature of such conversations will depend entirely on the guests!

Thanks for reading :)

[also published on dooyoo]