I’m not exactly a style guru. You’re more likely to find me in some backstreet shop buying something cheap-and-cheerful than shelling out on trendy clothes from big names. But in this instance some new trousers were desperately in order, and as my mum had kindly volunteered to pay, what had I to lose? So I ventured into Sports Soccer. This op is based on my experience today with the Milton Keynes branch. Others may be different, although frankly I rather doubt it.

First impressions are important, and Sports Soccer certainly impresses. My local shopping centre features not one but TWO Sports Soccer stores – I plumped for the bigger one. The store advertises its presence with huge lit-up signs across its vast shop front, and baskets of footballs and other goods placed enticingly near the entrance. Having far too many footballs already, I skipped these and went inside.

The store is certainly spacious. This particular store is something of a superstore, as it’s laid out over two floors. The top floor’s main features are clothing and a nice poster of Anna Kournikova <grin>. If it’s big-name clothes you’re after, Sports Soccer is second only to JJB. It has huge stocks of all the big names – Adidas, Donnay, Nike, Donnay, Reebok, Donnay, you name it, they’ve got it, in a multitude of styles and colours. (I’m informed that Sports Soccer actually have some agreement with Donnay, which explains the prevalence of their slightly crappy gear in the stores.) The prices are pretty competitive too – I picked up two pairs of trousers for £39, which would probably’ve cost me nearer to £50 in JJB or JD Sports. (Another advantage SS has over JD is the absence of that bloody awful gangsta rap ‘music’ !) Actually virtually all of the stock was some shade of blue, but I don’t think this is a reflection on Sports Soccer – the whole world has gone blue!

Anyway .. after having located a couple of pairs of trousers, I inquisitively went downstairs. The downstairs, branded ‘Soccer World’, has a truly sumptuous assortment of trainers, football boots and sporting gear. This is the biggest collection of sporting footwear I’ve ever seen in one place. Row upon row of top-make trainers, well laid out with prices a little extortionate but clearly displayed! The football boot section was heaven for my brother. Getting bored of him discussing the merits of boot X over boot Y, I went to explore the rest of the floor.

The impression I got was that, when pronouncing the name of the store, the emphasis should be on ‘soccer’ rather than ‘sports’. The store caters almost exclusively for footballers, with a bit of golf equipment tucked away in a corner, opposite a tiny range of tennis stuff. SS don’t seem to have realised that rugby and cricket, along with a multitude of others, are sports in their own right. Football must be the most profitable – if you’re looking for equipment for a minority sport, or even not-such-a-minority-sport, you may well be out of luck.

On a better note, after spending a good quarter of an hour in the store, I didn’t feel a bit uncomfortable or cramped. Unlike some of the other stores which cram a large number of customers into a shoebox-sized store, the SS store is spacious, well laid out and comfortably lit. All of this entices you to stay longer in the store and part with more of your precious cash.

The hard part now done, the family trooped off to try on the gear and pay. Unfortunately, this is where the goodness ends. I told a lie – the hard part lies in obtaining any form of interaction or help from the staff. Now don’t get me wrong – any sports shop staff reading this, a lot of you are wonderful and truly helpful. However the service I received on this occasion was nothing short of abysmal.

First, I attempted somewhat futilely to grab some trousers from the top row. Whilst I was doing this, the assistant, wielding a large stick just perfect for the occasion, just stood sulkily next to me. It took several appeals for help before she relented and grumpily retrieved the article.

Miffed but undaunted, I proceeded to the changing rooms. Where were they? Better ask an assistant eh? Except these assistants seem to object to being questioned on any aspects of the store. After pretending not to hear me for as long as she could, the assistant merely raised her hand and motioned towards the escalator, all without looking at me. I proceeded up the escalator.

Darn, lost again. Ah, there looks a nice helpful bloke. Nope - this time my heartfelt request brought a grunt of assent along with the obligatory finger-pointing. Finally I found the changing rooms.

Astonished that I still had the same waist size as a year ago despite my copious chocolate consumption, I went to pay for the goods. I was pleased to note that there was virtually no queue, and proceeded to the desk. You’d think the staff don’t want to take your money! The two assistants were far more interested in their tangled love lives than my custom. They talked throughout the transaction, yet didn’t say a single word to me, the customer. I even had to wait thirty seconds while their giggling fit subsided enough for them to slide my credit card back across the counter. You guessed it, all without acknowledging me or even looking at me. Am I invisible to these staff?

Matt’s conclusion? Well, I got what I wanted at a good price, but not without a lot of effort. Sports Soccer is an impressive store, well laid out, with a wide range of goods at low prices. But I’d rather have paid an extra couple of quid if it got me some service from staff with the power of independent thought. Although I got a good deal and will probably return for this reason, my experience was somewhat soured by the monkeying of the staff. Recommended – just barely.

Thanks for the read,
Matt

PS. I give SS three stars, but if you’re a gossip and are incredibly interested in the staff’s love lives / nights out / star signs / hairstyles, better make it four!