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Hi, my name is Squeaky Green and I start my diary being lovingly placed in a beautiful basket with lots of my brothers and sisters in a lovely Lush store in Stratford and two long haired teenagers come running in, shortly followed by their short haired Mum.
The youngest girl turns to her Mum and the conversation goes something like this ‘but we never come into Lush Mum, you hate the smell of it’ ‘I know, but I’ve read hundreds of review on their products and thought we’d give it a go’
My heart sank, this was clearly a woman who didn’t love our products, had never even been into a Lush store before in her life. She doesn’t know that all our products are natural, many are suitable for vegans and have not been tested on animals. She has never experienced the delight of sinking into a Lush bubble bath and thinks it is an unashamed luxury and unnecessary expense for a single bath. It was nearly closing time and I was destined to spend another night not being used for my proper purpose.
Then something strange happens, the Mum comes over, and picks me up and smells me. I knew I was on to a losing battle, all of my cousins in the neighbouring baskets smell so much sweeter than me, and I’m just made of nettles, rosemary and mint. I mean who is going to choose something that smells of stinging nettles over all of the flashy Mango and other exotic things nearby. Then, insult to injury, she asks the shop lady ‘so what do you do with these then?’ So the poor lady had to go through a long description about how a shampoo bar, is just like
a bar of soap for your hair, when you let it dry put it on its side and it will last longer and it will go less gooey, and don’t worry about all the bits of herb in that one, they will just wash away.
It then becomes clear that she is completely tight fisted and is only interested in the family budget, ‘so how long does it last’ she says with a sarcastic edge to her voice that thinks there is no way that I’m going to be economical, and at £4.85 I’m not the cheapest bar in the shop. So the shop lady patiently explains that I should last 3 times longer than the average bottle, as long as you prop me up to dry properly.
Eventually after lots of wondering around the shop, picking things up, putting stuff down, she comes back over to me, buys me, I get wrapped up in an ugly yellow paper bag and off we go, to my new home with the tight fisted, Lush hater.
Day 1 evening
The eldest teenager decides to try me out, tears the label on the paper bag in half (making it difficult for the Mum to read should she decide to write a review on me) and off to the shower we go.
She did seem to have real trouble getting enough lather to be able to wash her hair with me, but eventually gets enough to wash her hair; she keeps smelling her hands and smiling, it must be that lovely mix of fresh nettle and mint, it’s really not so bad. When she’d finished she put me in a tin that the nice Lush lady had given her because they’d bought a couple of hair products.
There I am, happily sleeping in my tin when at some ridiculous time in the morning the Mum pulls the top off the tin, the light comes streaming in, she’s in a foul mood apparently because the teenager didn’t listen to the shop lady and I now seem to be stuck in the tin. So she’s there shaking me, prodding me with a tooth pick, swearing at me and shaking me some more. Eventually I finally drop out and off to the shower we go.
She has no problem getting lather; adult hands seem to find it much easier. She didn’t seem particularly sure about the smell of me though, all of my herbs radiating out. I make a good job of lathering her short hair, even if I do say so myself, but she seems underwhelmed and props me up to dry out, just using the lid of the tin.
Then it was the turn of the youngest teen. She is really easy to please, she seemed delighted with my smell, had no problem getting a lather it must be that she was the third person to try. When she’d finished she put me back properly then kept telling everyone how soft her hands felt, I mean whatever next I’m not a hand soap I’m a hair soap.
The Mum comes in, and picks me up, doesn’t seem too happy at a gooey patch on the side where I’d been sat for the night. I have to say I had a much better night’s sleep in the tin than I did being stood up all night.
She seems to think twice about using me or the bottle, but decides to give me another go. Bits of my dried herbs start to fall out, and off they go down the plug hole. When she’d finished, she was so much happier than yesterday, I think she’s getting used to the smell I saw her later that day and she kept running her hands through her hair as if she liked the feel, all soft and touchable, she also kept smelling the girls hair so she must like it!
As the Mum comes in this morning, I am rather embarrassingly sat in a little puddle of my own green goo, but she doesn’t seem to mind, she picks me up and gives me a satisfied little sniff, it must be that the herby smell is really starting to work now that I’ve been used for a few days, the rosemary is finally coming through or was she picking up on some of my other ingredients of chamomile or vanilla. She then carefully places me in the other half of the tin that I hadn’t been standing in, and simply uses the liquid goo. Then later I hear her saying that her hair feels a lot more natural now, it’s like the natural oils are allowed to stay rather than being chemically washed away like they do with the regular shampoo. She even seems happy with the financial side of me, it looks like with 2 long haired teens to cater for, both of whom seem to love me, I last much longer than a regular bottle so will cost much less in the long term, I mean I’m almost a week in and have hardly reduced in size at all, at least a quarter of a bottle would have gone by now.
So there you have it, the Lush hater seems converted, she apparently prefers my more natural smell to the more pungent, exotic smells of my cousins even if it did take her a couple of days to get used to it and she seems to like the fact that I am so natural so there are certain properties in the herbs that I am made from that can enhance health and beauty, and above all, as I gradually get washed away, I am happy in my new home.
Thank you for reading Squeaky green Digbycat aka MaryanneH.