Stella Artois Premium Lager

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Stella ("Spouse Beater")

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5 Jul 24th, 2004 

40 Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Advantages:
Tasty, clean crisp flavour, Moorish, can drink it all night

Disadvantages:
Expensive, can remain over the limit for driving for the whole of the next day

Recommendable Yes:

Pastynicholls

Pastynicholls

About me:

Back and this time with SNAKES

Member since:11.08.2001

Reviews:41

Members who trust:13

I, like millions of men, women and all to frequently children enjoy a beer.
Over the Evolution of me I have evolved from a Bitter drinker to (when I was living in Germany) a Pilsner drinker.
Some of the best drinks in the world come from Europe for example – Warsteiner (A.K.A Wobbly) from Germany to Grolsh from Holland. But over here in the good old UK we have embraced Stella from Belgium to our bosom…

Like most European lagers and pilsners Stella Artois is a basic mix of water, hops and barley….
Sorry? Were you expecting more ingredients? Well I hate to upset but there aren’t! Sorry! No chemicals, no colourings in fact I’d say it’s better than most herbal remedies! (XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX) Slanderous joke removed hehehehe.

Stella is a fairly strong drink and at 5.2% alcohol by volume 1 pint is going to put you over the legal drink drive limit (for the average person), Stella has also been given a bad name – usually from the men – its commonly known as “Wife Beater” as us Brits tend not to be able to drink socially, we go out get pissed have a fight in the street or go home and slap about the other half! (Crass Generalisation I know and I do apologise to the average consumer).
Like most European lagers Stella is best drunk out of a smaller glass (330ml) with a thick head and drunk slowly (Chilled to @ 4 – 6oC).
UK drinking habits tend to mean this drink is drunk in pint glasses to excess causing us to become drunk possibly leading to our arrest and a night “chillin’ off in the cells” or waking up in a pool of wee, sick or poo (sometimes all three) sporting a thick head!

But enough of me slagging off my fellow UK drinkers- what is this fabled drink like to, uh, drink?
This is my favourite part of the Op! The market research!!!

Can 1 – as with its 23 friends it has been sat in my fridge for over 24 hours having been purchased at Tesco’s at a cost of £ 17.48 (and for you mathematic nerds out there that equates to £1.66 per litre.) So can 1 has been cracked open and slowly poured into a pint glass. Already the glass is beginning to “sweat” or gather condensation on the outside – I’ll spare you the science… Can 1 has a clear golden yellow liquid with a lovely white head, the sight of this is causing my mouth to salivate (please note. For this experiment, my kids are away at mates having been invited out to different sleepovers, I am also single as well so no other persons can be harmed in the doing of this experiment).
Oh! Can 1 has gone, I simply had a taste which was a clean crisp and ever so slightly sharp taste – I could liken it to – Barley with hops and water. After a couple of tastes the remaining 440ml can in the pint glass seemed to slip down my neck of its own accord – it went down smooth, like a, like a – pint of Stella slipping down your neck!

Can 2 – Opens with a satisfying hiss, the liquid has the same colour and consistency as can 1, so far so good. I’ll test the bouquet… Sniiiiiiiiif! Yep it’s Stella all right, and the taste test confirms it! I can discern no real difference between can 1 and can 2. Oh the glass is empty again…

Can 3 – While pouring this can I am distracted to my CD cabinet, I somehow feel the need to get some music on the go, hmmm I’ve now got Nirvana (MTV Live on the go) Again this can is pleasing on the palette, thoughts of me having to walk down the road pick the boys up from their mates go back with them before getting on public transport into the city so we can go swimming are entering my mind – this could be a self defence mechanism to stop imbibing Stella! There’s still 1/3 of a glass to go…. And it’s… gone.

Can 4 – Again pleasing to the eye and palette, quite a bit more head in this glass… possibly due to the poring style (or lack of) it’s quite thick and creamy. This doesn’t spoil the enjoyment of the liquid though. Oop! Need a wee, wee! - Back! Remaining liquid now completed. Somehow the music sounds muted, I’ll just turn it up a notch! They are playing “Come as you are!” my fave song on this album.

Can 5 – is a naughty little can! She slipped out of my hand and onto the floor – I put her back in the fridge and collected Can 6 in her place. It’s remarkable each and every can tasted just the same, the last is just as fresh as the first, they all smell the same – it’s a slightly musty yet pleasing smell. Even though this one is nearly complete now, there is something missing – I’m note quite sure what though…

Can 7 - see above as to why we are on 7 and not 6… I’ve figured out what is missing! Food! I think a nice Ruby Murray, or a kebab would follow this can just nicely – we’ll see… lets change the music here – think I’ll put my DJ Tiesto CD on (live at the RAI Amsterdam)

Can 8 – been on the phone and ordered a chicken tikka naan kebab £4.75 expensive but WELL worth it – free delivery as well as I know the takeaway well :o) it occurs to me if I can get a free meal if I do an Op on my Fave takeaway! I’ll put that to Jamal when I see him next :o) :o)

Can 9 – Tipped the delivery guy! He got here quick! I was right Stella compliments food! I’m going to eat this drink the rest of the can – the glass is in the kitchen somewhere – then I’m off to bed.

Stella? Oh yeah! It’s nice! I know I wont have a raging hangover in the morning! I know the kids won’t be back till I get them! (Made that mistake before! See past ops!)
Moreover I had fun doing this op! (Thank god for spell checker on ms word!!)


I'm quite loyal to this brand - however i also change to Grolsh, Warsteiner and when possible Effes every now and again. 
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Stella Artois Premium Lager Picture 46479 tb
Stella too strong for you?

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Comments about this review »

maclennan33 01.06.2007 18:49

Hey brilliant review on the wife beater well described and funny

reddragonflame87 27.10.2006 12:22

Can 5 is a naughty little can... priceless

chris358 23.10.2006 18:54

great beer, great review



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