I’ve never been to Brentford but I’m sure it’s very nice. Certainly the picture Robert Rankin paints of it in his novel, “The Antipope”, depicts an extremely interesting place to visit - full of places of interest and colourful (to put it mildly) local characters.
I’m guessing the book is set in the very early seventies, the only clue we get is that two pints of “Large”, the preferred local draught, costs 10/6 (10 shillings and sixpence – ask your Grandpa). Not that it matters much of course, given that one of the central characters has been dead for a few hundred years the exact timing of the novel's “present day” seems a trifle irrelevant.
Much of the action takes place in The Flying Swan, a local pub run by Neville, the part-time barman. Although never actually stated, we are left with the impression that Neville has been, and will be, a fixture in the bar for many years. Two of his work shy regulars, John O’Mally, a drunken Irish womaniser, and Jim Pooley, a drunken Brentonian follower of form, will be our unlikely heroes for the duration of the novel.
Alas, all is not well in Brentford. Heralded by the appearance of a smelly, red-eyed mystery tramp who unsettles everyone he meets, a sequence of events is about to unfold which could change the course of history and put Brentford on the map for all the wrong reasons. Shortly after the tramp’s first sighting Archroy, another stalwart local Brentonian, returns home from his nightshift at the rubber factory to find that his wife has swapped his Morris Minor for five magic beans.
Magic beans, good grief! That’s not just silly, it’s surreal! Yes it is, and so it goes on for the rest of the novel. The mundane environment of Brentford is continually contrasted, counter-balanced and brought into focus by startling revelations of satanic power struggles, magical forces, both good and bad, and highly trained exponents of arcane martial arts sauntering through the streets of Brentford. Like I said, it sounds like an interesting place to visit.
As to the plot, well it’s surreal isn’t it? Mystery tramp, magic beans, failed attempt to wade across the English Channel, massive complex of subterranean tunnels beneath Brentford, mysterious draining of canal, seaman’s mission converted to satanic chapel, forces of good and evil, cowboy night in the Flying Swan, exploding barbecue, last of the Borgias, big fight at the end, mine’s a pint of Large please.
And throughout all this our, by now, good friends Pooley and O’Mally must wage war against this terrible evil, all the while trying to figure out where they’re going to scrounge the price of their next round and what looks good in the three fifteen at Doncaster.
And that’s why it works – because you like O’Mally and Pooley. Drunken, shambling, work shy rogues – Everyman type figures who might save the world or could just as easily be distracted by the prospect of a drinking session allowing us all to be blown to kingdom come. They are supported by a range of other interesting characters but it is definitely Pooley and O’Mally who steal the show.
I enjoyed this book and, if you haven’t read Rankin before, this would be a good place to start.
I leave you with the words of Jim Pooley:
“Outside the sun shines. Buses rumble towards Ealing Broadway and I’m expected to do battle with the powers of darkness. It all seems a little unfair…”
ISBN 0-552-13841-X £5.99 on the cover £4.79 from Amazon
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