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One of my in-built commandments is to not start explaining what the internet is. So for those who still deem an explanation and get a tingly sensation down the spine whenever mundane, mediocre blandness is written, you’ll better read elsewhere. Perhaps read the source code of the pop-ups renting our communities visual space. These internet users are paying thirty pounds a month on a dial-up connection, they’re usually dangling amongst the rafters trying to get three green lights to flash, indicating a 56kbps connection speed. It may work with a mobile phone; though seem to think it’ll work with a modem, waving it above their heads on the highest point in their attics at Poffley End. If you don’t believe me; here is the audio-text:
“Ah pet, yee connection on clock-work modem works better when I dangle freestyle up yee; problem is I’m unable to prosper by using the 56kbps speed, coz, yee keyboard is down yee. It worked with yee cell phone. Arrrrggghhh!!”
“Hold-on Malc pet, thank goodness we didn’t get wireless in 1999.”
Levine doesn’t exactly break-out into an engineering perspiration at writing the ‘Foreword.’ He gets helped along by quotes by Charles Darwin (You may’ve heard of him). The text choice is bigger and it takes up half a page, well Darwinism is far more important than Levine’s whimsical anecdotes. Not that Levine’s aim is to be funny, it just the thought thread he chooses that tickled me based on the incredibly steep education force of finger-tip technology, Levine explains.
He’s plugging his own book to the people who’ve already got one. Then again, I suppose if you picked it up in a bookstore and the author Steve Levine says you’ll need this book, it sounds rather desperate. It could’ve made a huge difference to my buying decision if that was read out to me. Remember to read all the small-print before making that purchasing decision, especially if it’s a book by Steve Levine.
I must confess, ‘The Art of Downloading Music,’ is not an art-form. I only paid £3.00 plus Postage and Packaging from an eBay auction from a seller who was doing a massive clear-out; in 2004. Being an iPod techie person who at the time seemed endeared to anything resembling the Apple iPod on aesthetics and was a couple of quid, I would’ve thought: Hey, this looks cool, I want one, what is it? In that order! - Because the front of the book jacket is designed as if it is a white Apple iPod. Levine must’ve seen me cometh.
Look-out for the ‘splashed ink tips!’ correction: they’re more like a head of a ‘toilet brush.’ That’s far more appropriate.
Armoured with a ‘download glossary’ and ‘index’ the length of a quarter of the whole contents of the paperback; it can be used as a ‘one stop solution;’ for answering download queries. For example, it’ll be highly effective if you want to know what the term ‘buffer’ means. Or wander why the iPod seems quieter than normal.’ Steve Levine has the answers, not that you’ll ever think about some of the questions raised. For some-one who sees quantity or monumentally thorough, a good thing without actual quality content. Levine will give you enough information for you to ponder over, for an hour, or two; if the term, ‘novice internet download user’ is stamped on your fore-head. The crazy thing is that Steve Levine has published a second edition of ‘the Art of Downloading Music.’ I assume it is another load of dribble for those people stuck in the attic waving their ‘smart-phones in the air, trying to connect with the ‘World, Wide, Web’ to download, the entire MP3 audio from Dr Who.
“Aye, pet, but yee wanna download the whole of the Dr. Who series onto yee smart-phone; our Steve says… yee MP3 quality is the best ever.”
“Yee, don’t believe what yee Steve says… , yee is stupid, yee tryin to sell yee a book yee stupidly already got pet.”
Thanks for reading.
Steve Levine's attire whenever he met Boy George in his hell raising days
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supercityfan 18/09/2010 11:01
TheHairyGodmother 11/09/2010 16:13
Hishyeness 11/09/2010 00:25
Suavilous 08/09/2010 11:43
Another entertaining review by yourself. Great review.
theguester 08/09/2010 09:48
Fantastic read :)