The Bloke's Guide to Pregnancy - Jon Smith > Reviews (3)

"Three little words guaranteed to strike fear into the most grown up of first-time fathers-to-be."
As an expectant father (Due May 2006) I can honestly say that this is one very true statement!

Shortly after we found out our news, we decided to buy a couple of books on the subject of pregnancy. The other half went for the serious medical and health type ones whereas I wanted something I could relate to. Just reading the back cover of this made me buy it and I am so glad I did.

This book was written by a bloke like me, for guys like me and answers such important questions as:
--MONEY--Do we really have to spend my entire lager allowance on that hand-held breast pump?
--SEX--Will it harm the unborn baby? (Or am I just being arrogant?)
--BREASTS--Will they stay that size forever? (Or am I just being hopeful?)
--HOSPITAL PARKING SPACES--Am I going to have to fork out £50 every time she thinks she is going into labour?

All of the chapters in the book have blokeish titles, (the first chapter is entitled: "He shoots, He scores!") and all are guaranteed to raise a smile.
The book goes through every single stage of the pregnancy and continues a little after the birth as well. It starts by telling us the story of exactly what went through the author's mind when he was told the three words from the title of this OP (Can I afford it? Where will we live? etc etc) and how he overcame all these initial worries. I can honestly say that I also thought every single one of his thoughts and reading this first chapter made me realise that I was not alone in thinking them.

Pearls of wisdom and questions in the book include
:
--What to expect from Friends and Family.
> Your parents will say something along the lines of :
"I'm not ready to be a Grandparent yet, I'm only 55"
>Your mates will change the subject to "The barmaid's backside" if you try and talk about the pregnancy.

--When asked, never say you would prefer a boy (even if you do)
>You will be banished to the sofa for at least 3 nights.

--Why do all blokes want a boy anyway?
>They destroy your DVD collection and grin while they do it, they hit you...a lot and they become worse as they get older (remember what you were like?). Girls on the other hand, will destroy your DVD collection but with nowhere near as much malice and when you're fat, old and bald, your daughter will still love you(at least enough to visit once a year).

--What do we call the baby?
>You will have at least 2 arguments on the subject and, as tempting as it is, do not even joke about names...She may like them! Advice - Have fun, but be fair to the child.

--What about money?
>FACT-It's going to cost a lot, but shop wisely and you will be fine. By the time friends and relatives have pitched in, as well as having a new bib for every day of the week, you will have a buggy for every day of the week.
>Don't buy any more gadgets. The TV will soon have a generous amount of yoghurt on the screen and in the speakers; and the DVD player will soon become acquainted with a slice of buttered toast.

Save your money, buy an estate car and acknowledge that your trendy years are over.

--Will the breasts stay that size?
>In short...No! Once breastfeeding is replaced with solids, your partner's breasts will return to their pre-pregnancy state. Life is just not fair.

--Cravings - 14 Oranges without breaking into a sweat; Coal; a house brick; an entire lemon; sardines...The list goes on and on. Don't laugh, just make sure there is a ready supply of whatever it is and be ready to change the supply at the drop of a hat. Why didn't you know that the gherkins she was eating a jar a day of suddenly made her sick? It is all your fault!

--The Birth--Get there ...quick (remember you have to leave time to park that damn estate car!) and just do what you're told. Don't interfere, Don't ask questions, Don't suggest anything. Just be there.

--Crying
>>Your baby will cry and cry and cry. Don't worry, it will only last for about a year, by which stage your baby will be able to call the emergency services all by herself, whilst turning on the video that you thought was safely hidden under the sofa.

This is merely an overview of what is an exceptionally brilliant and funny book yet it offers some brilliant insights and words of encouragement and, of course, there are many sections I have omitted.
At the end of the book, there is a glossary (with pronunciations) and websites etc for help and support.

Price £8.99 (£7.19 on Amazon)
Pages: 242
ISBN: 1-4019-0288-X

Highly, Highly Recommended to any potential fathers.