Hi, I am the Ciaoer formerly known as 'PJE'. Ciao added the flattened penis to the end of my usernam...
Hi, I am the Ciaoer formerly known as 'PJE'. Ciao added the flattened penis to the end of my username without my consent and then denied all knowledge of it, leaving me feeling slightly violated. How would they like having their name changed to Ciao_?
Member since:06.08.2000
Reviews:93
Members who trust:57
This is a book review.
PJE said I could write it for him.
It is a review of a book called "The Curious Incident of the Dog in The Night-Time" - which is a very long title. PJE told me that it was something Sherlock Holmes said in a story called Silver Blaze† and that the curious thing was that the dog didn't do anything in the night-time, but I don't think that makes sense.
My name is Ludo. I do not have Asperger's Syndrome, or anything like that, I am just pretending - like the person who wrote this book. He says his name is Christopher John Francis Boone: and that he is fifteen years, three months and two days old - but that is a lie. His real name is Mark Haddon. PJE says that that is because this is a novel, and none of it is really true.
The writer says that this book is a murder mystery, but it's not. Not really. My dictionary says that murder is "the act of putting a person to death" - but there are no dead people in this book. Not that I would notice: I don't see dead people. I saw a film about a boy who does though - one night when I should have been in bed. I asked PJE if they would make a film of this book too, and whether that boy would play Christopher. He just groaned.
The only dead thing in this book is a dog called Wellington. Wellington was a poodle but now he has been forked to death in Christopher's neighbour's garden; but since a dog is not a person it is not really murder, it is caninicide. I think I might have just made that word up, but PJE says I can do stuff like that if I like -
as long as I don't shoot any mockingbirds, fork any dogs or hit any policemen (Christopher gets into trouble for doing that). On the cover of this book there is a picture of Wellington lying dead with the fork still sticking in him.. I do not think that this is a very nice thing to have on the cover of a children's book, but PJE says kids love horrible things like that because they are all rotten little sods.
Because he is autistic Christopher finds people confusing. He hates being touched and doesn't like like brown or yellow things. But he is Very Good with numbers, which is why there are some clever Maths problems in this book. PJE says most people will skip those bits because they make their brains hurt. Christopher is especially fond of prime numbers, which is why all the chapters are prime numbers and not because there are some missing. PJE keeps saying that he is in his prime - but this doesn't make sense to me any more, because on his last birthday he was thirty-eight - and thirty-eight is not a prime number. I asked him if this meant that he was past his prime. He told me to shut up.
PJE doesn't love this book as much as everyone else. When I asked him why, he said it was because he thought it reinforced another prejudice by pandering to literary people's belief that anyone who is good at Maths is a bit odd. And PJE says they like this because it gives them a chance to show how politically correct they are by not calling them bad names or beating them up. He also says it's not half as clever and original as everyone thinks because there was a character just like Christopher on Grange Hill, and also because a long long time ago (he says it was 1997) there was a play on Radio 4 which was written by someone called Lee Hall. It was called Spoonface Steinberg, and it was narrated by an autistic girl. Only she had cancer and was dying, and there was no dog.
But I think it's because he preferred a book called The Last Samurai by Helen DeWitt. He reviewed it once, but everyone ignored him when he told them how brilliant it was. He says I am named after a character in that book who is much cleverer than Christopher.
Of course, It's not Mr. Haddon's fault that everyone seems to think this book is the best thing since sliced bread, he said. I said I didn't understand this, because the sliced bread we have is white - and people keep telling me that I shouldn't eat white bread. Yes, he said, and it's probably the same ruddy people.
There are tens of thousands of words in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, but hardly any of them rhyme. I asked PJE why: he said that it was because Mark Haddon isn't fucking Nabokov - not unless he's a necrophiliac anyway. I asked him what a necrophiliac was and he said that it was someone who shags dead people. I asked him if that boy who sees dead people might be in a film about necrophiliacs one day. He thought about it for a minute and said probably not.
There are two versions of this book: one for children and one for grown-ups. I read the grown-up version which is full of fucking swear words. PJE said that someone called Mary Whitehouse would be spinning in her grave. I asked him if she was forked to death as well. He just laughed. He says he is thinking about writing a book about a boy with Tourette's Syndrome. I asked him what Tourette's Syndrome was and he told me. I didn't like the way he told me though. I asked him what he would call it, and he said: Fuck Off Shortarse. I said I thought this was a Very Good title, but I was lying. And that is the truth.
I thought this book was Very Funny, but PJE says he found it sad. He says that it is about how parents are sometimes not very good at something called coping. But my dictionary says that coping is something to do with walls, so I'm not sure whether he is telling the truth or not.
He also says that if people really want to know to know about autism they should read something that was written by someone who actually has Asperger Syndrome. Such as: "Standing Down Falling Up: Asperger's Syndrome from the Inside Out" by Nita Jackson; or "Making Sense of the Unfeasible: My Life Journey with Asperger Syndrome" by Marc Fleisher; or "Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome: A User Guide To Adolescence" by Luke Jackson. Because that really is the truth.
"Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?" "To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time." "The dog did nothing in the night-time." "That was the curious incident," remarked Sherlock Holmes.
As per PJE's name extension, when l joined in 2002, l was required to have a 4-digit user name (thus "jesi" rather than "jes"), so l expect it's a database requirement ~~~~ did you suggest or request an alternative?
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jesi 13.11.2007 12:00
The book was interesting when l heard it read on BBC Radio 4, but when seen on the written page, l lost some interest ~ and, in the event, l never finished the book ~ it sits in a stack of books somewhere, lonely, unread, and, most likely, un-wanted
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Oct 31st, 2004
(Oct 17th, 2005)
exceptional by (25%):
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