The Little Book of Abuse - Jasmine Birtles

...other, and we both know the other likes chocolate, so that’s what they get. Oh, apart from one year when I told him what to buy me ( A cute little penguin Christmas tree decoration from accessorize, which I still have hung in my room!)

This year i was greeted with a much smaller package, which consisted of two small books, one of txt shorthand's, and this book of abuse. The front of it shocked me a little. My little brother had ...
...giving the finger on the front of it!

After I got over the initial shock I noticed what it said underneath the bright yellow finger! It Said “lots of one liners for the really annoying people in your life”. I grinned to myself. My brother knows me too well. This is going to provide me with ammunition for years to come!

Some of the one liners aren’t that funny, but some of them are really good. I’ll ... more

I'm always full of one liners to come out with when someone annoys me, or i just feel like it. Well now i have more than enough ammunition after receiving this little book of abuse at Christmas.

I was a little surprised at my brothers gift to me. He usually buy's me a box of some sort of chocolates, and i do back to them. Well, you never know what to buy your 12 year old brothers do you!

This has been a sort of family tradition since I can remember. We never know what to buy each other, and we both know the other likes chocolate, so that’s what they get. Oh, apart from one year when I told him what to buy me ( A cute little penguin Christmas tree decoration from accessorize, which I still have hung in my room!)

This year i was greeted with a much smaller package, which consisted of two small books, one of txt shorthand's, and this book of abuse. The front of it shocked me a little. My little brother had got me a bright red book which had yellow hand giving the finger on the front of it!

After I got over the initial shock I noticed what it said underneath the bright yellow finger! It Said “lots of one liners for the really annoying people in your life”. I grinned to myself. My brother knows me too well. This is going to provide me with ammunition for years to come!

Some of the one liners aren’t that funny, but some of them are really good. I’ll give you some examples:

“I’m not your type, I’m not inflatable”

“I these your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage”

“she has the face of a saint- a st Bernard”

“nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

“what a pretty maternity dress….you’re not…oh well”

There’s loads more in the book, and you’ll probably see them on the front page of mine every now and again. I know their bitchy, but you have to admit there funny!

Each page has the same 5 offensive sign’s around it, including the finger sign. My mum isn’t too impressed with the book, as she say’s I’m nasty enough as it is! The cheek of it! I’m sweet and innocent! Lol

It is 128 pages of pure nastiness in total, and is great for a little flick through if you know people are going to annoy you that day.

The book is by Jasmine Birtles, and is just one is a series of them. You will usually see them around shop’s such as Clinton cards. Each book cost’s £2.50.

Although I wouldn’t buy a book like this for myself, they could make great little stocking fillers, or presents for people who you know would appreciate them! The other Jasmine Birtles book I was bought was txt shorthand’s as I’m permanently glued to my mobile phone.

Don’t expect these little books to be really informative and interesting. They are just meant as a little fun, and I’m sure you can find someone who suits a book like this!

The fact that nobody understands you doesn’t make you an artist!

ps, some of the criteria below such as story and characters dosn't apply, so please ignore the ratings.

Please leave ratings and comments. Naomi :)

 

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