The Man on Platform 5 - Robert Llewellyn

...my Dalek collection, played with the Ace figurine, logged onto the net and thanked my lucky stars that I’m not a train spotter or computer nerd. Robert Llewellyn makes us feel smug in the knowledge that there’s always someone more of an anorak than yourself. But dig a wee bit deeper and a bond of empathy almost attaches itself to the badge collection on your blazers lapel. For soon elements of yourself crawl uncomfortably to the surface as you can ...
...going to be remembered as the second actor (and the better one, David Ross being the first, although he was good as the voice of the toaster) to play Kryton the android in Red Dwarf. It was one of the reasons I bought this book. The other being that I read in the bath and buy my books from the local charity shop and so am limited to what I get. That way if it falls in the bath water I haven’t wasted too much cash. I paid £2 and helped The British ... more

After reading this I dusted down my Dalek collection, played with the Ace figurine, logged onto the net and thanked my lucky stars that I’m not a train spotter or computer nerd. Robert Llewellyn makes us feel smug in the knowledge that there’s always someone more of an anorak than yourself. But dig a wee bit deeper and a bond of empathy almost attaches itself to the badge collection on your blazers lapel. For soon elements of yourself crawl uncomfortably to the surface as you can almost relate to the main character.

KRYTON

This poor chap’s always going to be remembered as the second actor (and the better one, David Ross being the first, although he was good as the voice of the toaster) to play Kryton the android in Red Dwarf. It was one of the reasons I bought this book. The other being that I read in the bath and buy my books from the local charity shop and so am limited to what I get. That way if it falls in the bath water I haven’t wasted too much cash. I paid £2 and helped The British Heart Foundation. The cover price was £9-99 for one of those in-between hard/soft back books. However, there’s more to this chap than a passion for saying “Mr Lister Sir”. He is a very gifted author.

CHRIS USUALLY LOSES THE PLOT IN REALITY

Fortunately, though this is one of those books that are so easy to follow. I usually read a few chapters in the bath and rarely read a book not in the buff (there’s an image!) but I felt compelled to take this treat out of the bathroom and read it in bed in the nuddy (another image to keep in your thoughts!).

The characters are so life-like and indeed several such as Richard E Grant are real people. Llewellyn effortlessly captures his frantic campness as he over dramatises his words making him a compelling figure in real life and this novel.

Just as Richard E Grant seeks motivation for his on screen characters so too does Llewellyn for writing The Man on Platform 5. He dedicates it to all Red Dwarf fans who are often portrayed as nerds, anoraks, weirdoes and sados. He wanted to show that not all fans are like this but those few who are can be changed. So entered two stepsisters, Gresham and Eupheme, who bet that the sad train spotter on the opposite platform of their broken down train could be changed into a suave sophisticated attractive contemporary man. Gresham the spoilt rich brat thinks not, whilst Eupheme the charity fundraiser thinks that everyone can change given the right encouragement, training and education. Thus unfolds several thousand pounds and hours of moulding
To change Ian Ringfold the train spotter who lives at home with his aging mother whose sexual experiences come out from specialist magazines and the Internet. Pretending to be a TV researcher Ian is entangled into their devious bet and his life changed: some may say for the better, some for the worst.

IAN AND CHRIS EDUCATED

Ian’s education was very enlightening to me. Llewellyn clearly writes from a chap’s perspective, although he does seem to be in touch with his feminine side. The sexual exploits are funny and eye opening. The career plans of Ian, who during his transformation rises from supermarket shelve stacker to area manager, mirror his progression from nerd to sexual master, much sought after cosmopolitan gentleman.
There are several surprise relationships throughout the book that keep us guessing towards the end and the blossoming of Ian and the moral dilemma of whether he wants or needs to change. After all, have you ever seen an unhappy computer nerd or train spotter? I’ve definitely seen a few sad socialites.

RED DWARF FANS BE NOT DISSAPOINTED

Lister gets a mention in the form of Craig Charles at a charity gala, where Ian is put to the test by Eupheme, before his ultimate judging by the cynical Gresham to see who wins the bet. Charles intervenes in a fight and the ensuing dialogue is Lister to a tee.

CHRIS MIGHT PUT HIS HANDS INTO HIS LONG DEEP CAVERNOUS POCKETS

Llewellyn may just make me break the habit of a lifetime and start to buy books first hand in proper bookshops. I’d definitely buy his novels again. He captures the humour that was lost with the passing of Red Dwarf. His characters are believable and his plots busting with life.

CIAOER I’D RECOMMEND IT TO

Firstly special thanks to jillmurphy to making me feel guilty enough to write a book review for Ciao. But I think the book would most be appreciated by the mad and anarchic Dundonian superpricee whose humour is always welcome on Ciao.

Visit the Robert Llewellyn website at http://www.llew.co.uk

 

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