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RottenPumpkins and I were e-mailing back and forth, and the subject of the world's most offensive songs came up. For some reason, both of us think it's amusing to listen to songs that would make dear old Grandmother drop dead of coronary failure. Maybe we're just deranged. Maybe we're abnormal. Whatever the case, we've come up with some of our favorite offensive songs.
Note: These songs don't offend us. "Offensive" is simply the fact that these seem to be the worst songs to play in the company of people with even the slightest shred of taste.
DiFranco01: I've got to go with the obvious and list Eminem's "Kim" as one of the most offensive songs in the world. You've all heard it, but if you want to refresh your memory go get The Marshall Mathers LP. It's a loud song, with lots of deranged screaming, which of course sets the schizophrenic atmosphere for the lyrics. Basically, Em kills his wife in a violent manner - after trashing the house, and dragging her into the woods. And screaming. It offends even the least sensitive of people, and some hardcore Eminem fans have said that it was too disturbing even for them. Me, I find it to be one of his funnier songs, and it really doesn’t bother me because it IS after all just a song. This is great however, for playing in the company of people who are shocked and offended by the littlest, most innocent of things.
Rotten: Kim is without a doubt the most disturbing song I have ever heard and what Eminem has ever written and it shocked me and still does, so therefore it's going to shock even the most hard-edged music fans. Ah, nothing like playing this song in the backgarden and watching all my neighbours quickly grab their 10 year old Grandkids and running inside...at least it gives me the chance to start practising my devil-worshiping antics in the backyard with no-one seeing me, which leads to the next track:
MARILYN MANSON - FIGHT SONG
Rotten: Ah yes, my inspiration for all the crazy things I do in life (I won't go into details, but you can find all the dead bodies in a woods near you). This song is loud, Manson's growl is offensive in itself and the chorus, wow. Even the Vicar had a heart attack last time I played this in church (Not sure if it was this track or the Ouija Board I had out at the time?)
DiFranco01: Hmmn…devil worshiping? I never would have made you for that (sarcasm). Personally, if I were going to worship the devil I would play a Spice Girls record, as they’ve obviously got a personal relationship with the Dark Prince.
DiFranco01: But, Fight Song is pretty vile to some people. I really can’t see why a few lyrics like “I’m not a slave to a god that doesn’t exist” are cause for trying to get the record banned from America, as we DO have freedom of speech…but it’s interesting to watch people react to it when I’m playing it in my truck. Some ignore it, some seem to enjoy it, and a couple of more religious types have actually told me that I am going to hell for listening to that vulgar, satanic music. Which is of course the reaction that I’m looking for, so it’s all good.
DiFranco01: Next up is a song by a folk duo called Bitch and Animal. They’re on the Righteous Babe Records label in case anybody cares. But anyway, the song
is called “Best Cxxk On The Block” which in itself is cause to wonder what the hell’s wrong with these two chicks.
DiFranco01: It’s yer basic folk song, but the lyrics are pretty “out there” because they’re talking (literally, talking - not singing) about dildos and such. Me, I think it’s funny.
DiFranco01: “What can I say / I can’t stay away / From the best cxxk on the block today…” Some have described this song as “musical pornography” because it makes them uncomfortable. Me? I laugh like a mother when I hear it. It’s funny stuff.
Rotten: Ok, well like you guys, I haven't heard of Bitch And Animal, which is going to make this hard for me to comment. But if it's anything to do with porn, I'm sure we will all love it. I think I trust Difranco01's judgment on this, as she is pretty innovative when it comes to music. In fact, I want to steal this damn CD from Difranco01, anyone want to pay for my plane ticket?
Rotten: Ok, lets move onto a band which people have actually heard of, Nine Inch Nails. I am indeed talking about the song, Closer. This song has some very claustrophobic beats going on and add that with the very out-there lyrics, we have one hell of a great song to shock people with, especially with *that* chorus: "I want to f**k you like an animal, I want to feel you from the inside." I'd love to play this over the speaker in my local supermarket, actually that's not a bad idea...now where did I put that application form?
DiFranco01: Well, that IS practically a classic song, though Trent and company have come up with more recent things with which to shock the masses. Then again, how many ways can Nine Inch Nails say “god is dead” and “I wanna have sex with you” before it gets repetitive? So, yeah - “Closer” is a really good selection, and one that I still play every now and then, amazingly enough.
DiFranco01: And I don’t notice anybody volunteering to help pay for your plane ticket to America, so you’d better go back to the drawing board and come up with some GOOD money-making ideas. (And let me know before you come over, so that I can lock my door and pretend I’m not home.)
DiFranco01: But anyway, it’s my turn to pick a song so we’re going to read something INTERESTING now (my apologies to everyone who fell asleep listening to Rotten’s babbling there - I can’t help what she writes any more than I can help having to squat when I urinate, folks).
DiFranco01: Let’s see…of all the crazy, offensive, and downright crude things I listen to, I’m going to have to say that “Lickitty Clit” comes next. It’s the name of a song, by an independent band called Lickitty Clit, whose debut album was also called “Lickitty Clit.” Whew! At least it’s easy to remember, right?
DiFranco01: But anyway, this band was formed with the help of some surviving members of 7 Year Bitch (among other deranged women) so if the guitar-laden, offensive-lyric shouting sounds familiar to your ears that’s why. This particular song is all about sex, and the so-called “ladies” don’t approach the subject tenderly…or with any semblance of taste. Lyrics like “I’m takin’ your head / for a moustache ride” and “Won’tcha go down / On my bearded clam? / Lemme melt in your mouth / Lemme c** in your hand” make this a very, very bad song to play in front of more, errm, sensible types. I remember the first time my mother was around when I was listening to the record: She just sort of looked at me. Then she shook her head. And left. Mind you, my mother is the one who bought the last two Eminem albums, laughs at Marilyn Manson, and hates Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys etc. because “They would be entertaining if their heads would explode in the middle of a set and splash everyone in the first five rows with gore.”
DiFranco01: Am I the only one that finds stuff like that funny?
Rotten: Difranco01 sure has one hell of an eccentric taste when it comes to music, hmm, I worry about her. I haven't listened to LC, but when someone finally buys me that plane ticket and I manage to hunt Miss Difranco down, I'll be stealing this from her and making it into an ashtray or a coaster, just like the rest of the CD's she sends my way. If anyone else has any ideas what to turn these rubbish CD's into, please let me know.
Rotten: Next song on my list isn't offensive but it is shocking and believe me, I have seen people's eyes pop out (very gory...). City Of No Sun, sang by everyone’s favourite artist on Ciao, PJ Harvey. The song starts off really tenderly before ripping into a shattering, the most loudest noise with PJ shrieking the lyrics in the highest pitch voice ever, the best thing? She does it without any warning so people tend to jump/eyes wide open and give me a dirty look. I've lost count at how many times this has happened. Great song to get reactions, which of course is the whole point. So, buy me a plane ticket OR I shall scare you to death with this song, it will work, ya know...
DiFranco01: Rubbish CDs, eh? Well, I guess I’ll just keep this stack of CDs that I had copied for you last night, Rotten…I’m sure I could find somebody who appreciates them - and me (mwahaha). Oh, who in the hell am I kidding? I’m lucky Rotten puts up with my crap and we both know it!
DiFranco01: Uhmmn…as for the PJ Harvey song? I have no clue as to what in the hell she’s talking about, so don’t look at me. I don’t even like PJ Harvey that much.
DiFranco01: But anyway…anybody like Slipknot? I do. Well, their self-titled debut anyway. It’s loud, it’s angry, and it’s a long, venomous spewing of obscenities. I especially like “Eyeless” - not just because of the multiple drums (which could shatter your ears), or the heavy guitars, but also because the lyrics are just plain evil. “Insane - am I the only motherf***er with a brain? / I’m hearing voices, but all they do is complain / How many times have you wanted to kill / Everything and everyone, say you’ll do it but you never will…”
DiFranco01: Not that I would ever really kill anybody or anything, of course…
Rotten: I'm getting very worried about Miss Difranco01 folks. First she says that she doesn't like PJ Harvey much and now she says she would never really kill anyone...not even Celine Dion? Hmm, something is wrong with this girl, so please buy me a plane ticket so I can go look after her best interests.
Rotten: The next song on my list is a track called Shut Up And Fxxk by a band called Betty Blowtorch. This track is very amusing with the lyrics being pretty out there: "Baby baby, standing at the bar, you saw me wanking my bass guitar." And even more amusing things such as: "I don't want conversation, I just want penis penetration." Very amusing which has me laughing each time I hear the lyrics. The music is very much Hole-equise but don't let that put you off. This song is enough to shock anyone with or without a sense of humor. Muwaha.
DiFranco01: This song didn’t shock me the first time I heard it Rotten - I just thought it was funny as hell. I think you need to try harder. By the way, thanks for sending over that stack of CDs - I’ve been listening to them all afternoon.
DiFranco01: But, I can definitely see why this song would shock a lot of people. It’s pretty, uh, out there.
DiFranco01: Hmmn…Rotten and I, agreeing on something? Does that scare you guys even half as much as it scares me?
DiFranco01: But, back to the whole point of this op - another song! I have to say that “Ho” by Ludacris is pretty offensive. I’m not the world’s biggest rap fan, but Ludacris, Eminem, et cetera are just too funny NOT to listen to. With lyrics like “Why do you think you take a Ho to a hotel?” and “Reach up in the sky for the HOzone layer,” it’s hard not to laugh. Besides which, this is great to start singing / rapping / whatever around chicks that I don’t like, which would actually be about half the female population of my sorry excuse for a community. Yeah.
Rotten: I doubt you'll ever see Difranco and myself agreeing on anything, apart from our weird ways on how to kill Celine Dion - hey, don't blame me if Difranco is a huge influence on my thinking. I'm not a major fan of rap music, but I'm sure whatever Difranco listens to, I'll follow suit...that makes me sound obsessed doesn't it? *ahem*. Moving on very quickly to my next song:
Rotten: Vulcan by Snake River Conspiracy. SRC are currently one of my favourite bands, with the vicious looking female singer with tattoos, Tobey Torres, you can't really go wrong. Vulcan is a weird track that starts with Toby screaming: "F**K! You and your stupid smile, you make me want to strangle you." And so on. But yes, the F**k word pretty much comes up in every other sentence, mixed in with such lyrics as: "You f**king faggot." And classic lines such as: "You could talk me into f**king you, but I don't think you'd survive." Great band for getting looks, I must admit.
DiFranco01: Yeah. I don’t think I’ve gotten around to listening to that one yet, so no comment at this time. Maybe later.
DiFranco01: Okay, so that’s about it for us - this time, anyway. This has been one hell of a lot of fun, as it required me to dig through my entire CD collection to find the best of the best - or, as some people might think, the worst of the worst. But, as always, if you’ve got something even better? Feel free to recommend it!
DiFranco01: Also…Heather? I just want you to know, that I care about you greatly, and that I would do anything in the world for you.
DiFranco01: But enough sappy bullsh*t from yours truly - any final thoughts from your end?
Rotten: Thanks for reading and also great thanks to Sarah for suggesting this opinion and making it damn more interesting and fun to write about, I couldn't have done it without her. Don't you guys just think she's great? It's not often I praise up any other talented female except for PJ Harvey, but ah, I think I can make a *huge* exception for the truly amazing woman that is Difranco01...thank you.
All The People That Write/Sing These Songs Have Usually Never Experienced Anything More Traumatizing Than A Bad LSD Trip, So I Guess They Are Talking (Or Should I Say Singing) Out Of Their Arses. Review Was So-So.
samileo 27.10.2002 16:15
I have to comment on Kim. I'm an 18 year old female Eminem fan and personally I like the song. I like the way he can express his anger through his music and in turn it helps me express mine. If i've had a rough day i'll get in from college, whack it on the stereo full volume and scream along at the top of my voice - great anger/stress management and always feel on top of the world after a couple more Eminem tunes eg, Just dont give a F**k and Cleaning out my Closet. I think it's great someone would be so outrageous and society needs to liven up and snap out of this stuffy politicallt correct ere. Lets have some more controversy!!!!
Glorificus1 18.10.2002 13:07
Im with Sarah on finding crudeness funny. Hey I really like 'Kim' and 'Closer' , I like God of Fuck more than Fight Song tho