Vauxhall Corsa 1.0i

I will not descend to other ciao user's need to use the word "Corsa" instead of the word "Course". I feel this is a discreet but effective method of mine to keep true essence of comedy alive.

To the review...

Let me explain the title. My last car was a Ford Focus turbo diesel. I did write a review on it, but its on another ciao account where I can't remember the password and I believe the email address for that account is in the great database in the sky. Or equivelant.
I reluctantly got rid of my Focus after a row I had with my insurance company. I was a loyal customer to Endsleigh Car Insurance when they suddenly tried to remove a "Student Discount" I didn't know I had. And Endsleigh wanted to continue the policy with me paying £450 a month. We are still not friends.

We digress. Onto the Corsa.

My current chariot which is loved by the insurance company is a 1999 'Facebook' blue Vauxhall Corsa (not the actual colour, unless Vauxhall were the people behind 'Tomorrow's World') 1.0 12V Envoy. I'm the 4th owner according to the logbook, it had done 69,000 miles at point of purchase. After being a Corsa owner for over a month now. I feel it's time to write a review.

First, to please the techies. Here's some facts and figures for the Jeremy Clarkson in you. Thanks to Parkers.co.uk for providing these for the model being reviewed...

Vauxhall Corsa 1.0 12V Envoy (5dr)
Length - 3741mm
Width - 1768mm
Height - 1420mm
Weight - 857kg
Transmission - 5spd manual
Engine Size - 973cc
3 Cylinders
0-60mph - 16.5s
Power - 54bhp
Top Speed - 93mph
Miles Per Gallon - 49mpg

Isn't 'copy and paste' fantastic? Anyway, that's another review altogether.

Being an Envoy it is the very bottom of the range of Corsas made after 1997, before this, the Merit was the bottom of the range. The Merit was so basic, I'm sure the Soviet Union would've welcomed it with open arms. Although I'm afraid the Envoy would still fail to impress gadget lovers. This particular car has... windows that move when to rotate the winders, an ashtray that you can actually take out and empty, a glove box with an actual lid (slight dig to the Merit owners), and some wipers that flinger water off the screen. Oh and quite a handy little display on top of the dash that displays outside temperature, date and time. It would show the radio information if I hadn't ripped out the original unit to fit a handsfree phone compatible radio.
WOW I hear you say. I know, it's not exactly Halfords inside. But, the way I see it for now is it's less to go wrong until I buy a new car around Christmas time. The dashboard is well laid out and simple to operate, plastic though are hard, easily scratched and feel like they are easily breakable. The heater knobs feeling particularly flimsy. That's what she said.

Space inside is OK. I compared my 5-door Corsa with a friend's 3-door and it's evident that they are very different cars with much more rear-passenger leg room being donated kindly to the 5-door. Boot space is not brilliant but neither a nasty shock considering the size of the car, infact, almost the same size boot is found in the 3-door car too.

I'm afraid I'm now going to be the bearer of more bad news. Well I'm not afraid, I'm sure Ciao won't send furious german shepherds in "Ciao" livery into my home for even thinking of writing a bad review. Well, it's not stated in the terms and conditions anyway. Where was I? Yes, now, any man who has owned a Ford Focus will tell you that it's a joy to drive. The built quality in them were crap but they drove like go-karts, even the estate version I had. Unfortunately, the Corsa doesn't handle like a go-kart. It handles more like Johnny Vegas on rollerskates. The reason behind this is simple, the suspension on Vauxhalls made in the 90's were faaaar to soft. I had a 1996 Vauxhall Astra years ago too which rode very similarly. The car rolls badly without confidence round corners and for a drive where you won't be wincing every too minutes you really have to ease off for a the most average of bends on a country road. This Corsa lacks power steering and is VERY heavy. I'm not being sexist in anyway shape or form but I wouldn't buy the girlfriend one of these if it didn't have PAS as parking this Corsa is a bit of a workout, it's even justified me stopping my gym membership. Credit crunch and that.

The engine is the biggest surprise for me. Not only is this the smallest car I've ever owner, but I've never owned a car with an engine smaller than a 1.6. This 1.0 is slow, but not as slow as you might think. My Peugeot 309 1.9 diesel I owned a few years ago (another review on here somewhere I did) was truly slow. But this Corsa does have a bit of fizz. It's quite zippy round down although it majorly lacks enough oomph to make a clean and confident overtake on an A-road.

Fuel economy is excellent. The 1.0 12V "Eco-Tec" in this car really lives up to it's name. The other cars I looked into buying before this with similar engines ie. 106s, Polos, Saxos, Fiestas achieved no more than 40mpg. Vauxhall claims the Corsa can achieve 49mpg. However when I purchased this car I filled up the tank and after a week I calculated that the car had been consistently doing 54mpg. Only 1mpg less than the Focus diseasel I had. I find that remarkable, I am a bit of a nerd for saving as much fuel as possible. That Corsa in lane one on the M4 pottering about doing 56mph isn't an old bloke ready for the grave. That's me. But don't worry I'll pass you again when you're filling up at the services.

Sorry this review is a bit vague and short. But I must shoot as I'm off for a job interview.

So children, lets re-cap. If you are looking for a car that's cheap to buy, insure, is in the cheaper tax band, will sip it's tank of petrol frugally enough to go 400+ miles. And if you're not bothered about in car gadgets and have muscles big enough to park it. Orrrrrrr, even if it's just a cheap run about so you can save for your next car (like me). Then this will be your new best friend...

Just be gentle with the knobs on the dash.