Six foot, 6-packed, two-eyed, blue-eyed, dark haired guy with EasyJet baggage allowance, ie, none, s...
Six foot, 6-packed, two-eyed, blue-eyed, dark haired guy with EasyJet baggage allowance, ie, none, seeks other for Pralines and Cream orgy.
Member since:08.04.2003
Reviews:7
Members who trust:10
Isn't it a quaint idea to cook a tasty culinary meal for your young, beautiful grateful friends in your freshly cut lawn at the back of your sexy suburban semi in, let's say Streatham.
Of course it is. The sun is shining, people are endorphinally-enhanced, children play jovially, teenagers talk with their friends, the family gather and everyone feels united and at peace with the earth and its elements.
However, once those elements on your 100 quid B&Q get burning, peace has more chance in the Middle East. I want to see a roadmap for summer tranquility in your back garden. Summer days, which, if people are honest run something like this.
Everyone sits outside on uncomfortable patio furniture swatting at flies and sneezing hysterically on account of the record pollen count since 1930. The head of the household stands over the BBQ, admiring the blackness of his sausages, burgers and corn, whilst his wife proudly, but somewhat sceptically, fills each plastic plate with all this crisp food and hands it round to close friends, some of whom will be calling in sick tomorrow.
You later assure the lawyers that the Cumbrian farmer told you his cattle had not suffered during the foot and mouth crisis. Meanwhile, all children under the age of eight feel the urge to gallop in a matchbox garden like Red Rum in the final furlong. They do this, naturally, just after you have handed over administration of the BBQ to a teenager seeking more responsibilities.
The resultant collision requires a trip to Casualty, a search party for little Jimmy and the disintegration of your wife's prized tulips. Reported to the police, by pragmatic and uninvited neighbours, on account of a breach of the peace, most probably at the time when there was a string of expletives after the shed was set alight by a gas canister, which heated more than the charcoals.
Seriously, you want a bonding moment. I have the number for Pizza Hut.
Thanks for reading GroverManc
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
Advantages: Might make you laugh. They give me small talk for pubs and parties. Disadvantages: They might NOT make you laugh. They make me feel stupid.
Jun 16th, 2003
very helpful by (100%):
