"Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open." (James Dewar)
"Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open." (James Dewar)
Member since:29.08.2002
Reviews:271
Members who trust:800
This is a response to a challenge set by Scarlet_Ribbons. The idea is to write a story in sixty words or fewer. Since sixty words are insufficient for a Ciao review, most people have opted to submit more than one story.
My stories are all on biblical themes, an approach prompted by the first, the background to which is described in the next paragraph. Religious readers are warned that my attitude to the Bible is no more reverential than my attitude to anything else, which is to say not at all. If you suspect this might upset you, read no further.
For some reason this challenge reminded me of another challenge set by Penguinchickalata some time ago. She asked for a rhyme to include the words: Genesis, penguin, energy, berry and yard. Checking back on a draft I wrote in response at the time but did not use, I found it was exactly 60 words. This seemed like serendipity and it became my first story: -
1. Booze cruise ~~~~~~~~~
In Genesis we read of Noah, To whom God spoke upon the blower: “Use your energy, pard, And construct in your yard A blooming great boat that’s a goer.”
"Invite pairs of beasts to embark, And birds, from the penguin to lark, Once at sea, we’ll make merry On fermented berry.” They were high but not dry on the ark.
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2. Inside Information (Version 1) ~~~~~~~~
The crowds cheered as the contestants advanced, one large and lumbering, the other small and nimble. Soon the large one lay defeated.
“Just my luck,” grumbled the bookie, as he settled the big, last-minute bet. “Everyone else had their money on Goliath.”
“Want to win it back?” offered the archangel. “Double or quits that David goes on to be king?”
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3. Inside Information (Version 2) ~~~~~~~~
“Just my luck,” grumbled the bookie, as he settled the big, last-minute bet. “Any other time, I would have said Goliath had been paid to take a dive. But there’s nothing on earth could you offer a man when his life’s on the line.”
“No there isn’t, is there?” said the archangel rhetorically, pocketing his winnings and thinking of paradise.
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4. The march of progress ~~~~~~~~
There was uproar when the news reached the stables.
“Privatise the Apocalypse?” exclaimed War. “You’re joking!”
“Dead serious,” said Famine. “It’s new technology.”
“They’ve got contractors ready to do our job in half the time by helicopter,” explained Pestilence.
“That’s it,” said Death. “We’re not standing for this. Everybody out.”
Normal service is expected to resume following arbitration at ACAS.
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5. New word order ~~~~~~~
In the beginning was the Word.
It was followed by fifty-nine of its peers, each one jostling and elbowing for precedence. However, they could only overtake each other if grammatical coherence was maintained when they did so. Inevitably, when the dust settled, the last in line proved to be the End.
Advantages: As I live in eternity, I decided that this might be the most appropriate topic to put this review in. It is not meant as Member Advice. Disadvantages: You might not consider it weird or daft enough to qualify.
Advantages: Might make you laugh. They give me small talk for pubs and parties. Disadvantages: They might NOT make you laugh. They make me feel stupid.
Advantages: As I live in eternity, I decided that this might be the most appropriate topic to put this review in. It is not meant as Member Advice. Disadvantages: You might not consider it weird or daft enough to qualify.
Advantages: Might make you laugh. They give me small talk for pubs and parties. Disadvantages: They might NOT make you laugh. They make me feel stupid.
Aug 10th, 2004
(Aug 31st, 2004)
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