What I'd put in room 101 > Reviews (219)

I have read many of these reviews and as I do enjoy the odd rant or two I thought I'd add my tuppence worth so as to basically get it off my chest…

So we begin…. Get ready to open the door to room 101...

The first thing to go into the room would have to be the constant bombardment of reality tv shows and how every time you turn a page in any newspaper some 'fame seeking' has been is smiling back at me…
I try my hardest to avoid the likes of X Factor, strictly comes dancing, big brother and all the others by not watching the television in the first place… but I find it hard to stay sane when it is pushed into every nook and cranny on every corner of the street…What is all that about..?
I mean, fair enough if you like to watch this stuff then watch it with my blessing, (not that you need my blessing of course)… but why do they have to print every detail in the newspapers… or even on the news… "some one in the big brother house called someone else a name…. a has been has farted in the jungle…Cheryl Cole cries for some reason or another…" the trash is never ending… even the Prime Minister finds time in his busy schedule to have is say, (it's not like he's got nothing better to talk about is it).
Show it on the television and if you have to print it in a paper then pick one newspaper so I can avoid reading trash, and for god sakes crap like this should not be put on the news… there are a lot more important things to think about.
Plus the crap singers that emerge at the end of it make me want to stick a red hot poker down my ear and poke at my drum until it bleeds… (although I do believe Leona Lewis was from one of these shows and I do find her voice to be rather powerfully good).

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Supermarket checkout queues … although not all of them of course, just the ones that I seem to end up standing in when I'm out shopping. I always seem to get stuck behind the checkout where the cashier knows the person she is serving, forcing me to stand there whilst they discuss there ailments of the week or what they saw Johnnie doing with some ones wife last Thursday evening… but the ones that really irritate me the most are the shoppers that seem to find it funny to pack there bags with the speed of a snail and then decide to pay… by bloody credit card… staring at me as if I was trying to spy their pin number…(2435 if you're reading this that bloke in Asda last Thursday… watch where the box is pointing instead of watching me mate…he.he)
But when the two are put together, the chatting friends at the till who packs their bags and then decide to pay, whilst still chatting, has my blood boiling to the point of my bags of pasta getting launched across the store and a cursing exit from me….

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Christmas…bar humbug… no seriously.
I don't mean Christmas itself, I love Christmas itself as I can spend time with my family and stick two fingers up to my sometimes whiney clients…but the fact that the advertising starts in the middle of July for gods sake… I know when Christmas is and I know how much it's going to cost me so I don't need some vertically challenged bloke off a car show, pushing a trolley to tell me about some deals at a shop where I know I'm going to get stuck behind some dawdling fool at the tills… or a group of has-beens pretending to be having a party and actually enjoying themselves,(no wonder they are has-beens).

But in the advertising world Easter starts in December and Bonfire night starts in June why should Christmas not start in the middle of the Summer time….

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Boy bloody racers… or worse still middle aged racers going through there mid-life crises…
Why these people find the need to waste money on a wide exhaust and some over sized lights just so they can impress nothing but their egos… some even drill a hole in their manifolds so their cars sound like its tuned up to drag race at the drop of a hat…
I don't drive a flash car, it's a simple C-max but it does the job… but when I am sat at a set of traffic lights and I look to my right to see what looks likes a twelve year old spotty face brat sat in the seat of a 'pimped-up' fiat Uno with alloys and a hole in his manifold, trying to impress the crater faced girl sat in the passenger seat by pressing down on his accelerator, creating a sound very similar to an elephant after a curry I can't help but think what a prat they look… laughing as he 'barps' away to the next set of traffic lights which are usually 50 yards away… What is the point of that mate…?

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Knife wielding cowards are a cert for room 101 and I would through the key into an ocean full of piranhas so the little bas%$&ds would never get out…
Fighting is not nic ein the first place but if it had to happen then what happened to the old fashioned fisty cuffs fighting… marquis of Queensbury rules and all that old boy…? In my day if weapons were drawn they were swiftly dropped in favour of a good old one on one challenge, which really did separate the men from the boys..
These days it seems that the boys are happy to carry a knife and even more happy to use it rather than take the risk of being embarrassed as that little ten year old girl kick their ass…
Put the knives down and become men… if you have to fight then use your fists or even better join a gym… only cowards carry knives on the street.

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Politically correct and health un safety pen pushers who seem to have no life of there own and simply want to spoil it for every one else…(as if in competition with each other to see who can come up with the weirdest ban)… you know the ones I mean, the ones that ban everything that is fun, like conker fights, climbing trees, (not that I climb trees at my age), Christmas carol singing, nativity plays and much more.
What ever happened to peoples right to chose? or kids rights to be kids..?…to swing from tree to tree, to slide down a snowy slope on a bin-bag or to try and smash your friends conker so yours will be a 'sixer'..?… and what gave these suited billy-no-mates the right to decide what is safe or what is going to offend a certain religion..?
Let the nation decide please… we still have got a mind…
Did someone once say, (and I quote) "I think therefore I am…"

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Jehovah's witnesses… don't get me wrong, I don't mean the actual religion, if people want to believe in a god that allows a child to die for the sake of a blood transfusion then so be it… what I do object to is when they come knocking at my door, usually when I am about to sit down for a family meal.

This is so intrusive and so pushy… I mean, when was the last time your local vicar or an Imam came knocking at your door trying to pursued you to change your religion, (they usually leave this for the Church or the Mosque)…
I am sure that if I went knocking on a Jehovah's witness 'Hall' during one of there meetings selling my beliefs they would not be too pleased… so what gives them the right to interrupt my family time…? If I was interested in a religion or a belief I would go and find out about it myself, I don't need some stranger knocking at my door…

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I could go on with filling my room 101 but I would need planning permission for an extension as I have so many pet gripes, (an don't get me started on planning permission for gods sake… bloody pen pushers).
So I'll have to leave it here… and I hope you don't find my little rant too dull.

Thanks for reading