What is your best winter sport experience? > Reviews (8)

Since the onset of puberty, I have been annually crowned my village’s outdoor Naked Winter Chess Boxing Champion. Every year without fail, numerous men and women from surrounding villages gather together to conspire how best they may undermine my supreme ability at this fine winter sport and defeat me in my prowess. Thus far, none have succeeded in overpowering me, and I remain the ultimate Naked Chess Boxing Champion, never yet defeated.

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with this fine winter sporting experience, let me enlighten you. In order to master this art, the successful player must be both accomplished and proficient equally in the art of playing chess as well as having the ability to perform in the boxing ring. As the sport alternates between both games, it is therefore essential that the competitor possesses both the intellectual ability to play chess as well as a high degree of physical fitness.

As I am a man who has been blessed with both great mental agility as well as a fine physique, readers may not be too surprised to see that I excel in this unusual winter sport. Great stamina is also required for this endurance sport as not only does a match consist of 11 long rounds but also it is undertaken outdoors during inclement weather, completely naked, whilst being observed by a crowd of cheering spectators. Tickets sell fast for this once yearly event and demand is great.

Many months of endurance training is undertaken in the lead up to this event, as I practice the art of both boxing and playing chess in my rear garden wearing only a flimsy loincloth to cover my modesty and to protect my extremities from the harshest of elements. This I undertake with my close friend and flat mate Thaddeus who is both a magnificent and attractive coach and just gazing upon him during my moments of utter despair during the hardest of training sessions, gives me the determination and resilience to carry on with the most relentless of training regimes.

Training is extremely hard work and demanding but the reward is worth the effort as each year I am once again crowned the victor and am proudly cheered and exalted by my extended family and many friends and colleagues from the cider factory, and afterwards carried home to my observatory with much cheer and frivolity along the way. Here I meet up with my adoring fans and am presented with gifts in abundance for my conquest.

Readers may observe me in my training costume, taking a much needed break and posing for this photograph at the request of my good friend Thaddeus who insisted this might be an excellent publicity shot.

Readers may also observe me after the event in my dressing room, seated with two of my adoring female fans as they assist me in smoking my winning cigar as they gently stroke my firm and muscular thighs.