What is your summer song 2017?

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What is your summer song 2017?

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Review of "What is your summer song 2017?"

published 08/08/2017 | arthurteacake
Member since : 25/05/2017
Reviews : 4
Members who trust : 3
About me :
Pro Music is fine
Cons Wrongfully arrested for crime.

"Music caused me to embarrass a lobster."

My job as an amateur veterinary surgeon means that music can be a hindrance, rather than a blessing. Once I was performing a cataract procedure on a lobster and listening to some Skrillex, when my valet drunkenly turned up the volume all of a sudden, causing me to knock the unfortunate crustacean into a big urn of boiling water I keep next to the operating table to sterilize my coat hangers. The poor thing turned bright red with embarrassment. Plus, as I am frequently the bearer of bad news, I find that my clients prefer the sombre, deafening noise of silence when I inform them that sweet little Tiddles will never be a mammal again, or such-like.

It wasn’t just this. I much prefer the sound of silence, sitting with my thoughts, drafting out on my blackboard which product I would like to review on Ciao this week, or simply using the quiet time to reflect on whatever recent abuse Ravingreviewer has decided to throw my way.

Nevertheless, this summer certain tracks have stirred up for me connotations, some, good, some not so good.

Following the disappearance of my wife into a fairy ring, I was recently arrested by the police and held for ninety-six hours as they suspected that I may have had something to do with what happened. I don’t mind so much in terms of them following protocol, or whatever you want to call it, but I object to being branded a ‘murderer’, which is what they were getting at. Something to do with clumps of her hair found in the boot of my car, I don’t know. While locked in the cell, alone with my thoughts and the faint summer sun casting that foboding striped shadow through the bars on the window, the man in the cell next to me was humming the tune to an extremely racist song. It’s so vile I shall not even give it added credibility by repeating its name, but you know the one I mean. As he hummed, and I involuntary recanted Bieber’s lyrics in my head, I threw up on my own lap, spending the next six hours squatted in my tiny cell, unable to move, covered in the half-digested remains of the spaghetti hoops I had been eating on/with Bertrand when the police kicked down my front door.

Recently I was awarded ‘Green’ status on Ciao, bittersweet as soon afterwards I logged on to find that many of my reviews had been deleted, probably because of the European heatwave damaging Ciao’s poorly-made German servers. Luckily it was O.K. as I saved them all offline, so was able to re-upload them for your enjoyment. Anyway, when I saw that my little Ciao dot was green, it was probably the happiest moment of my life, even happier than my wedding, which to be honest was more of an inconvenience than a joy. The song I was listening to when I noticed this will remain ingrained into my mind, and I will forever think of it fondly, even when I realised that Ciao was basically the same as when I had a clear dot, only with additional crippling pressure and oppressive darkness.

If you’re interested, the song I was listening to in this great moment was Christine Lavin’s "Regretting What I Said to You When You Called Me 11:00 On a Friday Morning to Tell Me that at 1:00 Friday Afternoon You're Gonna Leave Your Office, Go Downstairs, Hail a Cab to Go Out to the Airport to Catch a Plane to Go Skiing in the Alps for Two Weeks, Not that I Wanted to Go With You, I Wasn't Able to Leave Town, I'm Not a Very Good Skier, I Couldn't Expect You to Pay My Way, But After Going Out With You for Three Years I DON'T Like Surprises!! Subtitled: A Musical Apology", which was totally the song I was listening to and definitely not a barefaced lie just to desperately add a few precious and finan’ciao’lly lucrative lines to this opinion piece.

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Comments on this review

  • jo-1976 published 10/08/2017
    Off topic
  • ANNExTHExFLAN published 10/08/2017
  • MrYorkiesWorld published 10/08/2017
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Product Information : What is your summer song 2017?

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Listed on Ciao since: 31/07/2017