Having read a few of these handbag reviews now, and laughing merrily to myself I decided it was high time to have a good old rummage through my own bottomless pit to see what useful junk I had managed to accumulate over the years. Plus, my husband was very eager to see why my handbag weighed more than he did.
The bag itself is simply a ‘wonderbag’, well known for its capabilities of holding so many items in such a small space. I received my black leather wonderbag a couple of Christmases ago and to be honest, I’d be lost without it. Looking at it, you would be hard pressed to think that I could hold more than a book of stamps, but it really is a sea of surprises, and it would be fair to say that my whole life is in that bag in one way or another.
So without further ado let’s get ready to rummage….Starting from the outside, there is a sizeable flap which is for housing a mobile phone, but this bag must have been invented when mobile phones were as big as television sets, because my miniscule handset rattles about like a pair of ill-fitting dentures, so to keep it secure, I keep a small diary and address book. Anyone who knows me well, will know that I am terrible at remembering dates so my diary has to go everywhere with me as does my address book because again, my memory tends to let me down when it comes to remembering where people live. My excuse tends to be that my friends are always on the move, so I never know where they are from one day to the next. Well, it works for me….
Inside the bag there are loads of handy little compartments straining at the seams while protecting my worldly goods. The main compartment is responsible for looking after my normal day-to-day items such as:Max Factor Lipfinity – Without this I feel totally naked. While an application of this lipstick in the morning usually lasts well into the afternoon, I still like to have it at hand to give it a little refresh. As well as that I have the lipfinity lip gloss/lip salve that works in conjunction with the lipstick. I suffer from dry lips especially during the winter so this is a godsend.
Compact mirror – Another piece of vital equipment. Without this I would end up looking like Courtney Love on a good day, and that’s not a pretty sight. 5 more lipsticks, an eyeliner and a mascara
Car keys/keyring – For Christmas last year my little girl bought me one of those whistling key rings designed for people like me who have a habit of misplacing things. If you lose your keys simply whistle and an alarm will sound directing you to your hidden keys. In theory this might sound good, but in practise, this doesn’t work for me as the batteries have long since run out and I have had to back track on at least 3 occasions to find the little blighters. Note in diary to buy replacement battery. Banana – one that’s seen better days too. I love bananas and always carry one with me; they make a great snack for the kids when taking them out somewhere. Quite how this one managed to escape their jaws is beyond me. When I first found it I wondered what I was doing with a piece of driftwood in my bag.
Hair brush – another of life’s essentials, well one of mine anyway. God, I’m beginning to sound so vain aren’t I?Tampons/panty liners – ermm (goes red in the face). In case of those days when I get caught short. And yes, it can happen.
Winnie the Pooh soft toy – a favourite belonging to my son. This has to go everywhere whenever we travel so it stays in my bag so we don’t forget it. There would be hell to pay if that happened.Six pens and out of all of them only 2 work.
Sweetex – just incase anywhere I stop for a drink only has sugar. Bleurgh!Plastic knife – Don’t ask! I really don’t know. All I know is that I got it from Spud U Like and thought it would come in handy. It’s been at the bottom of my bag ever since.
2 sachets of calpol – one 6 years plus, the other for babies.Packet of Nurofen for mum when she gets stressed out from the kids fighting in the back of the car.
Packet of tissues for those runny noses.Right at the bottom of my bag – 62p in loose change, about 25g of multicoloured fluff, several grains of sand (?) and several receipts.
Another good-sized compartment is where I keep my slimline purse. My purse has shrunk in size over the years, due to having children. Less money you see, they eat it all. It’s large enough to carry a few pounds and all my flexible friends, so I’m happy.My sunglasses are also kept in this nifty little pocket. I have had my car broken into before for the sake of a pair of shades so now I hide them safe and sound in here.
My old name badge from when I worked in a bank and my pass card for entering the building. God, I thought I’d destroyed these after I left.Various loyalty cards for example, Boots, Tesco, Somerfield, and WHS to name a few. I have clocked up quite a few points over the past year, so it will be a good Christmas for all.
A pair of dice (?) Umm not quite sure why they’re in here. Can only guess that they were taken on a long trip as part of a travel game like Snakes and Ladders.A small roll of sticky tape – I have on occasion forgotten someone’s birthday so have had to buy a present, wrap it straight away and drop it off without going home to carry out the task. Also works great for de-fuzzing a coat before a meeting.
2 packets of half eaten Polos – one with a best before date of 1/12/2003. Ewww!!1 packet of Mint Airwaves chewing gum, unopened and still edible.
Small packet of flumps for the kids, again unopened and a best before date long overdue.Another tiny pocket is where I keep photos of all my loved ones. My husband, kids, parents and my best friend Nicola, who sadly passed away recently.
Tucked in another little compartment are all my appointments cards for hairdresser, dentist, accountant, blah de blah. Half of them shouldn’t be there as all these dates have passed.I also have a good collection of drawings done by the kids while out in the car as well as a couple of melted crayons and blunt pencils.
Again in each compartment, those strange pieces of fluff and grains of sand can be found lurking at the bottom. Yes, I’m puzzled about the sand too.Well, that just about rounds up this little review. If I’ve come to realise anything while writing this, it’s what a hoarder I am. Steptoe and Son have nothing on me. One thing’s for sure, I have managed to declutter my bag making it a lot lighter, thus giving me extra space to store more rubbish. I’m quite relieved to see there was nothing embarrassing in there, so should I lose my bag and someone find my diary with my address in it, I won’t have a red face when they hand it back over, or if I have to collect it from the police station and describe the contents.
I actually enjoyed this challenge. It was quite fun having a good old nose in my handbag, but I would have had more fun routing about someone else’s. Any offers anyone?The ratings reflect on the fun I had writing this challenge, and not on my own efforts.
by (2%):
12.05.2005 23:22
I enjoyed having a nose in your bag too!! are you sure it's not a suitcase? Jane x
20.01.2005 10:34
Wow, alot of stuff in there. Fiona XX
16.01.2005 12:52
you ladies do carry some funny stuff around, don't you? great stuff!!! take care. regards, john.