A very humorously recounted story of a sad occurrence that strikes many mothers !
Disadvantages:
None really
Recommend to potential buyers:
yes
Full review
Until my son was two, I considered myself an almost perfect mother. I say "almost" as I do not believe in such a thing as a "perfect" mother. A mother has to accommodate her behaviour to the personality and personal, physical and emotional needs of her child, as well as the circumstances that life has thrust upon her at specific moments in time. This, all mothers will know, is not a very simple thing to do.
Until my son was two, I had never raised my voice at him, never felt nervous or upset or enraged at anything he had done or said. It was love, love and nothing but love and harmony. Despite moments of personal sadness (completely unrelated to him) and the occasional hard situation, nothing interfered with the wonderful relationship we had.
Then troubles arose. I became a lone parent just as his speech was becoming profuse and quite strong-minded while simultaneously - and very much appropriately for a child this age - becoming even more active than he ever was (and Boy! Is he active!) and deciding to "discover" the world and develop his character as he saw fit. Acts of mischief became a routine and as patient as I endeavoured to remain, there were times when, frankly, it didn't work!
So he used to be told off "nicely" every now and then and come the age of three, he was a complete rebel!
"Good!" - I thought, "the child has a strong personality; I want that!"
Yes, but sometimes he overstepped the limit to a point where even the Virgin Mary would have wanted to tear all of her hair off!! Thus arrived the slightly more "energetic" reprimands, which would sometimes reach a degree akin to a thermometer rising on a hot day in Morocco!
And sometimes, explosions ensued, and I, the loving mother, would be turned into an outright MONSTER!!
Needless to say, I felt guilty beyond reason and relief, and then spent hours talking to my son about why I had donned this horrible transformation and that if only he would LISTEN, perhaps blablablabla…
He was about three when I found "When Mum Turned Into A Monster" on a website; I purchased it as part of a collection of books, but amazon.co.uk sell it for £4.79 for a new soft back edition.
The book was written and illustrated by Joanna Harrison, who is the author of many children's books, including "Dear Bear" and "The Three Wishes".
I would say that the book is directed at children aged between 4 and 8, but I started reading it to my son before he had reached 4 and he seemed very happy with it!
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The interesting front cover shows you an exhausted and somehow metamorphosed mother, slumped into an armchair and holding her head in misery, surrounded by her two confounded looking children. The mother has monstrous green hands and legs, huge green ears and a green trunk protruding from the place where her nose ought to be, and to top it all, two antenna like shapes sticking out from her forehead, ending with two eyes!!
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The book is narrated by one of the children and the story begins on an early morning, with the first illustration in the book showing you a very messy breakfast scene, with brother and sister arguing over something and the mother trying to feed the cat while at the same time answering the phone.
The telephone call thrusts the mother into total mental mayhem. The children's cousins are coming to tea, and Mum realises that the house is a mess and there is nothing to eat!
In a panic, she orders her children:
"Children, make your hair and comb your beds, and do it properly!"
"Yes, Mum," we groaned. "We knew what she meant, she just wasn't quite herself."
A very stressed mother then embarks on the arduous task of clearing the mess from the house; vacuum leaning, washing the dishes, the toilet, sweeping…
In the meantime, the children having totally forgotten about their mother's instructions to tidy up their room, have decided to transform it into a jungle camp, much to the horror and frustration of poor Mum.
But by then, it is time to go shopping and bundled in the car, the children start arguing again, causing the onset of their mother's mutation. Her hands have turned green and she looks downright furious!
"Will you two STOP fighting!" shouted Mum.
Needless to say, the supermarket experience is a nightmare and by the time they get to the checkout, Mum is looking dishevelled and fuming and has grown very visible green ears!
Unpacking the groceries results a chaotic event and the ever more tense Mum has by now developed her green "eye-topped" antennas and swiftly thrown the children out of the kitchen.
The story unfolds through a few other very unfortunate events, and the last straw is drawn when the children leave a muddy mess on the carpet, after having played with the hosepipe in the garden and eaten half the tea that Mum had worked so hard to prepare!
Running up to their bedroom, which, incidentally is still as messy as ever, they hear the footsteps of their mother walking up the stairs. What follows is akin to what one may call a human explosive eruption and the illustration that portrays this is that of a by now totally green mother, complete with hairy hands and feet, a long green tail and an interesting green trunk from which smoke and flames are abundantly being released!
- She tried to shout but all that came out was smoke and flames and a terrible roar. -
Indeed, she had. But then she realised what has happened and slouching into an armchair, a shattered Mum moans:
"I used to be a nice person… But all your mess and fighting, whinging and yelling, has turned me…sob…into…sob…A MONSTER!"
What happens afterwards is a swift and very efficient realisation on behalf of the children of what seems to have plunged their mother to such horrendous depths.
Reconciliation takes place in a manner I will not detail, but from beginning to end, the story is very humorous and so are the illustrations, which are very simple though perfect for the subject at hand.
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My son really likes this story. We have read it countless times and I have noticed that he doesn't tend to pick it up only when I have had a go at him, which is quite reassuring.
When he sees me very tense and telling him off for no reasonable motive, he sometimes reminds me that I should behave myself lest I end up developing green extra limbs. It usually makes me laugh and calms me down, but let's be frank, it sometimes makes no difference whatsoever and knowing that other mothers also turn into monsters as I occasionally feel I do, is not an excuse for perpetuating such a repulsive and terrible mutation.
I do recommend this book. I am certain that both children and Mums will enjoy reading it.
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Tips for calming down when your children seem to think you are talking to them in an extra terrestrial language and when all manners of persuasion have failed and you are left feeling mentally squeamish and gripped by an unyielding desire to scream:
1- Tell yourself that life is very short and that one should not unnecessarily ponder upon such insignificant matters as your beloved son or daughter spreading the play dough on the carpet and stomping on it to see if it stays stuck; or deciding that the bedroom wall would look nicer in purple, hence deciding to paint it thus with his permanent colouring markers.
2- Convince yourself that it is of no great consequence that your family/neighbours/friends should find your house looking like a bombsite because your child is only able to play when ALL his toys are spread around the house. Remember, it's YOUR house, YOU live here and if they don't like it, they should leave.
3- Tell yourself that it is "good" to allow your child to get up to various experiments, however messy these may be, as this allows him to develop more harmoniously and broadens his creative horizons (this means you are a Very Good mother) and better still, only look at what he is doing or interfere if you think that he may be dismantling the computer or washing machine; about to jump in the chimney or from the second floor window (to see if he can fly); un-sticking the living room carpet to find out whether monsters live underneath the floor; slicing his arm with a sharp knife to see what veins look like or attempting to hammer down the wall with the very hammer you hid the day before in the attic under 5 boxes full of lead!!
4- Sing very loudly and completely out of tune.
5- Put heavy metal music on and dance around the house, jumping up and down and running hysterically until all the bad energy has been released.
6- Bang your head against a wall.
There are other options, but they are not very advisable.
