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Another day, another willy-related review. Today I'm going to tell you about another product I sold through my hen night novelty shop, the Willy Ice Tray. I was charging £4.79 for each tray, but now you can buy them for a couple of quid each.
There are a few different brands of this type of tray available, mine is made by the stylishly named 'Cock Shop'. It's a single tray which has been moulded to create five willy-shaped holes where you pour the water, the tray itself is rigid so you've no worries about your willies going floppy before freezing.
So, you know the drill. Fill the holes with water and freeze for a few hours, before you know it you'll have the best ice cubes in the country. The frozen willies come out of the tray quite easily, I actually think this tray is a bit TOO rigid for long shapes like this as it's awkward to get a decent enough grip to pop the willies out.
This is the only minor problem I'm having is with the tray itself, it doesn't have quite enough flexibility for popping out such long and thin ice cubes which does result in the odd willy snapping. I'd estimate that for every twenty willies I make one will be broken because of the tray, it could be worse I suppose but there's something kinda tragic about a broken ice willy and I always end up popping the broken one in my mouth to save wasting it. Which (unsurprisingly) raises a titter (and on occasion something completely different) if Mark happens to be watching.
Once frozen you get five willies which measure almost 4" in length, this makes them less of an ice cube in my opinion and more of a swizzle stick. It's more fun than you'd imagine to grip one of these by the balls and use the length of the willy to stir your drink. Gosh, wouldn't you just LOVE to be as decadent as me?! The willies actually look surprisingly good - well, realistic anyway as there is little beauty to be found in the sight of male genitalia. Veins and quite a prominent, ahem, bell end can be seen on each icy willy which just added to the raucousness last time I made them for a party.
Here's a tip, if you don't want your freezer full of willy trays just start making them a week or so before your party. Frozen willies can be taken out of the tray and stored in a big bag (in the freezer, obviously), each set of five will take a couple of hours to freeze so get a bit of organisation going and you'll soon have enough to keep everyone happy.