YouTube....wow what a website!

Although I'm not certain how long YouTube has been in existence, I'm really sorry that I didn't discover it before somebody recommended it to me a couple of years ago.

For the as yet uninitiated, YouTube ( www.youtube.com ) is a website that contains a whole wealth of video clips uploaded by the users for sharing with the world, on every subject you can think of, plus some you can't think of as they are too bizarre. Anybody can join YouTube. All you do is register, and you're away! You can watch videos without registering, but if any you wish to view have what is designated as adult content (though what is considered to be adult content on YouTube is fairly mild compared to what you may see elsewhere), then you will be required to register, and log in with your user name. You will also, just before being allowed to access the adult clip (once logged in), be asked to confirm your birth date by clicking a "yes" or a "no" button. (I find that a bit daft really, as anybody can register and lie about being over 18, plus just click "yes" when wanting to view adult videos).

I can only talk about YouTube from a viewer's standpoint, as I have never uploaded anything onto the site, and wouldn't know how to even if I did want to.

YouTube is a well-designed site, but I personally have found the troubleshooting sections a bit difficult to navigate. Most of the time, loading and playing videos clips of your choice is easy, but occasionally the media player can stick during playback, and that can make it very frustrating. Usually this happens when there is an overload of people using the site simultaneously - clearing your cookie cache (but keep the one YouTube uses) and clearing your ISP browser/temporary internet files can help up to a point. Failing that, despite the annoyance caused, it's probably better to go back and view your chosen video clip another time, when the site isn't so busy.

All the clips on YouTube vary in length - the shortest I've seen has been 13 seconds, and the longest around 18 minutes.

To search for the kind of clip you'd like to watch, you type appropriate keywords into the YouTube search window, hit enter on your keyboard or "search" on the screen, and choose from the results. While your chosen video clip is playing, a list of all available clips from the same source will show on the right-hand side of the screen, together with other examples from other people which are related to your selected topic. Once you have finished watching your choice, you will be given the option to view it again, plus offered two more choices on a linked subject matter.

There is also the facility to comment on any video clip you watch (this appears under the YouTube media player screen), but you must have an account and be logged in to do so. Recently though, I’ve noticed an increasing number of people who upload videos onto the site have disabled the facility to leave comments.

You can watch your chosen video clips on small screen or click the little square just underneath the black part where the video plays, to enlarge the screen. A lot of video clips lately are appearing on YouTube whereby they have been set to play on large screen. I personally prefer them on the smaller screen, and it’s a bit of a nuisance to have to click the large screen format back to small screen.

Hunting for video clips to watch is a little like sinking into quicksand, but I'd imagine much more pleasant. For instance, you may choose to search for and watch a video clip on....say.... rock-climbing. You then notice that the person who provided this clip has one on a different subject you are interested in....so, you give that a watch, or that the selection of other clips provided which tightly or loosely relate to rock-climbing look equally interesting, so you find yourself browsing through those - then amongst those, up comes another topic you are interested in, and on it goes. It’s like an eternal Russian doll.

I personally have found I get less confused if I open any video clip I want to watch in a new window - that saves keep on having to click the back button on my toolbar.

So, what topics are available to view on YouTube? Well, as said above, pretty much everything....I love to just search through the site at random, and here is a list of 10 unusual clip subjects I have encountered, just for example's sake:-

1. Zit squeezing! This is a truly terrible clump of video clips that are best avoided. Why on earth do some people think we delight in watching their blackhead and pimple emissions?

2. Real live ghost videos. How easily taken in do these people think we are? How the mind can perceive a mere shadow on an old photo as ectoplasm or similar! Also, do those who add these videos to the site think the rest of the world is unaware of how easy it is to tweak a piece of film to make it look convincing?

3. One seemingly very brattish young American woman who claims to suffer from Tourette's Syndrome. The clip shows this awful girl giving her aunt (who she apparently lives with) a life worse than hell! Far be it for me to enter into the world of diagnosis, as I am no expert on Tourette's Syndrome, but it seems to me the girl is suffering from a simple case of being a thoroughly spoiled little bitch - her symptoms bear little or no resemblance to those which I have read up on regarding Tourettes. NB: I believe this is a clip which has been taken from a programme shown on TV 4 or 5 years ago.

4. A rather wonderful and totally absurd anti-drugs propaganda video clip from 1960s America. Outstandingly paranoid and utterly laughable! The clip shows a girl being given acid (LSD) at a party. She then goes out for a walk with her boyfriend, and they decided to have a hot dog. At the fast food stand, the girl puts lots of relish, ketchup and mustard on her hot dog, then proceeds to take a bite out of it. She hears a screaming noise emanating from the hot dog, looks down at the sausage, and sees a face staring up at her; she sees the ketchup etc. she has added to the hot dog as its hair. This hot dog she is apparently hallucinating as being a living thing, is pleading with her not to eat him as he has a wife and kids at home. Terrified, but at the same time rationalising that she was hallucinating as she'd taken acid, she takes a huge bite, and the hot dog screams louder. Realising she's killed this man-sausage, she flings the hot dog to the ground and stamps on it - lol - the soundtrack is this awful screaming, winding down into death-throe gasps from the sausage. The girl (still screaming herself) and boyfriend run off down the road.

5. A short clip taken in a Japanese street of a man giving himself some personal satisfaction. You don't see anything even remotely pornographic as he has his back to the camera. For me the ridiculousness of this clip is, why would anybody want to watch or be entertained by it?

6. A rather distasteful clip of a man who likes to light a match, then burn out his nostril hair.

7. A delightful montage of "stills" put into movie format of various strange faces that Simon Cowell pulls when having been treated to the new talent act from hell on Britain's Got Talent! I wonder if he's seen this himself? I'd love to be a fly on the wall at any time he may see this little collection.

8. A young Lebanese girl who apparently drops crystals out of her eyes when she cries! It's a bit gruesome as a man with her doing the demonstration pulls her eyelid right down, and we see deep inside the tear duct - then, something (looks like an ordinary drop of normal tear-type eye fluid to me!!!) falls out of her eye!

9. A heroin addict on the streets of New York, apparently having just been given a shot of methadone. How authentic or true this video is I have no idea - it could be an amateur group of people who decided to do a spoof - but the clip shows this man attempting to sit on a fire hydrant, yet is barely conscious, let alone able to accurately position his posteria comfortably on said fire hydrant.

10. A clip of a rat apparently laughing when being tickled. Well, the rat is rolling over onto its back and at least appears to be enjoying it. I'm more than a little dubious regarding claims of mirth though.

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On YouTube I suppose, it's largely a case of whatever floats your boat. You might find watching a Korean man try to lick his own elbow more fascinating than words can say, or you might be interested in more mainstream items of ordinary people like you and I, just getting together and producing a video clip of themselves singing, dancing, or whatever.

Seriously though, despite all the dross, YouTube contains a wealth of the most amazing video clips imaginable. You can view portions (variable in length) of very old British, American and Australian TV programmes and old TV adverts from the 1950s, through the decades to date. There is an absolute plethora of music videos on YouTube dating as far back as the mid-1950s, up to recently. You can also watch clips of feature films from all generations, and some people have even been good enough to upload, in approximately 9 to 10 minute clips, whole films. So far, I have, in full, been able to watch "The Dead Zone", "Rosemary's Baby" and "The Prince of Tides". I've also managed to watch in sections, Mike Leigh's play "Nuts In May" and his films "Naked" and "Mean Time". (Note: For anybody wanting to watch Mike Leigh's "Naked" film on YouTube - the sex scenes have been censored)

One section I really love, is watching whole hosts of game show bloopers, and there is a wonderful video on YouTube of a collection of the most stupid answers contestants on game shows have ever given.

I also love to watch clips of inclement weather, such as hurricanes, tornadoes, severe thunderstorms - and I am constantly on the hunt for very old TV programme clips from my childhood. Imagine my joy when I discovered whole episodes of Bill & Ben The Flowerpot Men, The Woodentops, Andy Pandy, Torchy The Battery Boy, Twizzle, Sarah & Hoppity - plus much more - and, they are in excellent, very watchable condition.

I have found (the quality of some is a bit poor due to age) superb old video clips from programmes of the past, such as "Dr Finlay's Casebook", "Dixon Of Dock Green" and similar - plus, if you've forgotten what people like Michael Miles, Hughie Green, Harry Worth, Charlie Drake and a whole host of others look like, just tap the names into your search bar on YouTube and there's a 99% chance you'll be reminded.

Purely for entertainment's sake, and to make us realise that in this day and age of Balkan States takeover, in past times maybe whole setup and caboodle wasn't so bad after all, why not hunt through British Eurovision Song Contest entries over the decades? At best you will have a good laugh, and at worst you will cringe with nostalgic horror - but it's all great fun!

Do you want to watch Otis Redding doing stunning live performances on Ready Steady Go or is Jimi Hendrix giving us his weird and truly wonderful rendition of the Star Spangled Banner at Woodstock '69, or is U2 mesmerising the audience at Live Aid 1985 more your scene? Maybe you'd love to watch clips from the 1950s Brit pop programme Six Five Special, where nice clean cut youths wearing sensible jumpers treat the audience to some rather well-performed skiffle music, or back in 1958, 15 year old Jackie Dennis smiling his way through his rendition of the Billie & Lillie song, La Dee Dah (incidentally…if anybody should happen to be in possession of a 78rpm copy of Billie & Lillie performing La Dee Dah that’s in good condition and still in its original sleeve, believe me – it’s worth a fortune!).

One of my favourite musical oldie clips is Whistling Jack Smith doing his little dance and miming to I Was Kaiser Bill's Batman in 1967. It is heartwarming in its amusement value, and though I detested the song at the time, I can now hear something remotely worthwhile in it, in a warped sort of way....I think it's the fun factor which doesn't seem to be present in such a good way in modern-day life.

On the down side though, apart from the afore-mentioned problem with YouTube's media player occasionally sticking when there are too many visitors at one time logged into the site, one problem I have found is that a handful of video clips are uploaded onto the site with the sound levels set far too low. Being a fan of Mike Leigh's plays and films, I was delighted to see that somebody had uploaded the whole of the film Vera Drake in sections, and I settled happily to watch it as I've never seen it before. Sad to say, the whole thing was unwatchable because of being almost inaudible, despite having all sound levels on my computer switched to maximum. I did eventually manage to view Vera Drake at a later date by plugging my headphones into my computer, but I’d rather not have to do that.

Another little disappointment, is that some months ago, Van Morrison's record company apparently demanded (because of copyright infringement) that all his video material be removed from YouTube. I don't know whether Van agreed or not (that's if he even knew - but then I suppose, despite me being his no.1 fan, I accept he can be a rather stroppy individual on occasions), but I found that very sad as most of the best of those clips were taken from live concerts which many of Van's devotees perhaps hadn't attended, and having these clips on YouTube was a way of enjoying our hero. I felt robbed, as it's not as if fans can view this material anywhere else.

One little warning - some people can leave some extremely ill-thought-out and often abusive messages about the videos they have just watched. I was appalled to read some very nasty things said about little Connie Talbot (Britain's Got Talent finalist in 2007). Whether anybody thinks the little girl is talented or not, some of the abuse about her is totally uncalled for at best, and downright disgusting at worst. Thankfully, most of the comments on all video clips, including those of Connie Talbot, are complimentary.

I could rattle on for reams and reams describing the almost overwhelming variety of material available to watch on YouTube, so instead of launching into something which will take me the rest of my life to type, why not pay the site a visit and see for yourself? So long as you have the patience to hunt down what you want, or to wade through all sorts at random, I feel you will very soon be hooked.

~~ Slightly adapted from my original publication on DooYoo, under my GentleGenius user name ~~