I'm back and I'm happy I've found a new love and her name is E-bay. For me E-bay has always been a mythical unreachable object, in all fairness the effort required to reach it was very minimal. I saw people getting hooked on it quicker than George Best can run to the bar for last orders, but could not understand why. Was it some geeky compulsion to be on the Internet looking for something to enrich otherwise dull lives? Possibly, but now I have reached this new Holy Grail my tainted views have been realigned. This website is a masterstroke, pure genius I tell you, where else can you by a Picasso artwork and an ex-army soviet truck, or a $2 fake Britney picture along with a Scottish castle, it’s crazy. As a film buff I questioned whether there would really be anything there for me, anything really of worth you know. Well my bank manager will happily verify that I have found what I'm looking for in oh so many forms. I can’t help myself, I get hypnotized by the powers of e-bay and it somehow persuades me to part with my money for something I had never previously realised that I needed or indeed wanted. My film hero’s are De Niro (predictably) and Dennis Hopper (perhaps less so), I thought I would just have a goosy around the place for something to call my own, now I've got stuff getting sent through constantly, they’ve actually called a flood warning in my area because of my out of control buying.

But alas for every over the top exhalation their must also be a damp squib to quell the enthusiasm. As with any large Internet area where thousands mingle and mull for hours upon end, there are those odd people just out to destroy my happy existence. But fear not as long as you’re not foolish enough to part with your money without any official documentation you should be safe my friends. I shall tell you a tale of woe that was told to me by a friend of a friend (Bad start I know but try and bear with me), he did enter this hollowed website and bought a very expensive piece of electrical equipment from a seller. However this seller was a first time seller, to most this would raise some alarm, but this plucky fellow ventured out into the unknown and purchased said electrical item. He duly sent his money and waited, and waited and waited, but still nothing came, this called for some concern, he did have one saving grace E-Bay stores records of all the members home phone numbers, addresses etc. So he gamely attempted to contact the fiend through these details, but wherever he contacted he received the same negative answer “Mr X doesn’t live I'm afraid”. The conclusion to this story has not yet been made thus really it remains only a half story, but hopefully it ably demonstrates the ease with which fools can be parted from their money, especially when it’s all electrical rather than face to face.