Lame limericks

Advantages: had a long one i was going to include
Disadvantages: but forgot it when i wrote this

...For anyone who has lived in doodah loolah land all their lives and don't know what a limerick is, then I will try to explain. A limerick contains 5 lines. The first two lines have to rhyme with each other The next two lines have to rhyme with each other but in a different way The last line has to rhyme with the first two lines You might agree these following ones are lame limericks (hey I don't blame you). Well I tried my best! I used to be good at writing limericks and before I started this opinion, I had a 3 paragraph one in my head, but now of course I have forgotten it, so I'm sorry but you're going to have to make do with these rather lame ones! Let me know what you think if you make it past the first one :) hehe An old man used to swim every day Well at least until he was told to pay Got sent to jail Cos he was male...

Baywatch_Fan2002 01.09.2002 · Read review
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Review of Rhymes / Limericks

LIMERICKS SINCE LEAR

Advantages: The limericks
Disadvantages: None

...Edward Lear is, of course, the main man when it comes to limericks. And we all know he was a hit with writing limericks! But, I'm going to give you a few limericks that were written after Lear. I'm sure you'll find them very amusing! I sure do! I wish that my room had a floor; I don't care so much for a door. But this walking around Without touching the ground Is getting to be quite a bore. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * A tutor who tuted the flute Tried to tutor two tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor, "Is it harder to toot or To to tutor two tooters to toot?" * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * A flea and a fly in a flue Were imprisoned, so what could they do? Said the fly, "Let us flee", Said the flea, "Let us fly", So they flew through a flaw in the flue...

Louise90 18.07.2002 · Read review
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Review of Rhymes / Limericks

Licentious Limericks for the Highstreet.

Advantages: Rude.
Disadvantages: Rude.

.... There?s a strange thing about Barclays? Bank, And the dishy, blond manager, Frank, Whom you just cannot see ?Twixt eleven and three. I expect he goes off for a??cup of tea. (With lim?ricks you have to be rude, Libidinous, lustful and lewd. You must know how to rhyme And use metrical time, And it don?t hurt a bit to be crude). © Schmutzie 2003 (The ratings below are for the limerick form, not my doggerel)....

Schmutzie 28.07.2003 · Read review
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Review of Rhymes / Limericks

Funny Limericks

Advantages: A good laugh
Disadvantages: Some may be a little rude

...Just thought i would share with you a few limericks that i found while clearing the files on my computer. Not sure where most of them are from but i don't claim any as my own. A monkey when pouring my tea asked "do you fart when you pee?" i replied with some wit "do you burp when you s**t?" and i think that was one up to me There once was a man from china who wasn't a brilliant climber he fell from a rock damaged his c**k and now he has a vagina I tried to come up with a ditty That was clever and clean and still witty. But my failure was utter, Guess my mind's in the gutter - Every one I came up with was shi**y. There once was a man from York who picked his nose with a fork when it got stuck he cried "I don't give a f**k" and walked around looking like a dork "May I ask if you'd like the next...

lizzie1963 03.03.2007 · Read review
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Review of Rhymes / Limericks

Some Limericks for you all

Advantages: See op
Disadvantages: See op

...There once was a women from Venus, Whos body was shaped like .. Woah, thats not quite the one I was thinking of!!! Here are three Limericks that I wrote earlier today. So here goes DEVON DELIGHT There was a young lady from Devon, Who's name was Victoria Bevan, She looked after her sheep, Drove round in a jeep, On her way to the A37. CANINE CAPERS There once was a dog from Peru, Who worked on the boats with the crew, Was caught short one day, In the sunny month of May, And used the top deck as the loo. BABY BLUES There was a young baby called Paul, Who was slowly begining to crawl, Came to the edge of the couch, Fell off and said ouch, Wishing he wasn't so small. There we go folks, short and sweet. Thank you all for taking the time to read these, and I hope you enjoyed them. I would appreciate...

pumfster 26.04.2003 · Read review
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Review of Rhymes / Limericks

Light hearted limericks

Advantages: They make me laugh, and remind me of my childhood
Disadvantages: I'll let you decide that

...These are a selection of limericks from my childhood, that always made me laugh There once was a woman from tottenham her manners she wholly forgot them whilst at tea at the vicers she took off her knickers explaining she felt much to hot in them There was an Old Man with a beard, Who said, 'It is just as I feared! Two Owls and a Hen, Four Larks and a Wren, Have all built their nests in my beard There once was a girl named flo who wanted her knickers to show she wore a skirt as short as a shirt and kept on bending down low A tutor who tooted a flute Tried to teach two young tooters to toot Said the two to the tutor, "Is it harder to toot, or . . . To tutor two tutors to toot And finally some written by . . . .me (sorry) There was an old lady called Joan who's the most miserable person ever known Be...

jakes-mum 19.03.2006 (21.03.2006) · Read review
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Review of Rhymes / Limericks

Lusty Limericks and Really Rude Rhymes

Advantages: Some are really funny
Disadvantages: Some are really rude

...Please, please please don't read this if you are easily offended and all the ciao minors....KEEP OUT! The limerick's callous and crude, It's morals distressingly lewd. It's not worth the reading By persons of breeding; It's designed for us vulgar and rude There was a man from Gwent Who had a penis so long it bent It was so much trouble That he kept it double And instead of coming he went There was a young girl from Cape Cod, Who thought babies came only from God. T'wasn't the Almighty Who lifted her nightie. T'was Roger the Lodger the sod! There once was a man from Madrass Who's balls were constructed of brass When jangled together They played stormy weather And lightening shot out of his ass! There once was a pirate (the story relates) who liked to go dancing on roller skates. He fell on his cutlass...

ShellyB 12.06.2003 · Read review
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Review of Rhymes / Limericks

Rude and Lewd Limericks.

Advantages: very funny, bit rude.
Disadvantages: bit rude

...Here are 7 very funny limericks, compliments of JOKEGENIE. u'll die laughing. (that is if ur like minded to me) hehehe. :D 1 There once was a girl from peru Who filled her pussy with glue She said with a grin If they'll pay to get in Then they'll pay to get out of me too. 2 A mortician who practiced in Fife Made love to the corpse of his wife "How could I know, Judge" "She was cold, dinna budge" "Just the same as she acted in life". 3 An accident really uncanny Befell an unfortunate granny She sat in her chair Whilst her false teeth were there And bit herself right in the fanny. 4 There was a youg man of Cape Horn Who wished he had never been born Nor would he have been If his father had seen That the end of the rubber was torn. 5 There was an old fellow named Hewing Whose heart stopped...

karizma 08.04.2003 · Read review
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Review of Rhymes / Limericks

Radisson SAS Co. Limerick Republic of Ireland

Advantages: Location to airport, landscaped gardens, quiet location
Disadvantages: Dirty rooms, very well used, small beds, expensive, remote

...OVERVIEW I just did a search on Ciao and noticed that there were no reviews for the Radisson SAS hotel in Co. Limerick in the Republic of Ireland and so I thought I would share my own personal experiences of the hotel in the hope that it will help others that are thinking of staying at the hotel, or at least help give a more informed opinion. When I booked to stay at the Radisson Co. Limerick in September 2007 it was advertised as a 4 star hotel on each of the websites that I looked at. I see that Ciao is now listing it as a 3 star hotel which has prompted me to write this. HOTEL BOOKING As with all international hotels the Radisson SAS chain offers a useful website that details each of the hotels in the chain, provides some pictures and virtual tours of various parts of the buildings. It?s possible to view room amenities...

bananamanuk 27.05.2007 · Read review
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Review of Radisson SAS Hotel & Spa, Limerick

Limericks

Advantages: Makes you Smile
Disadvantages: corny??

...These are limericks I did when I attended Physiotherapy at Broomfield Hospital for my bad back/hip back in 1991. A young physio, who's so jolly named Martin, the hospital wally!! He puts you in traction so You're out of action and have to be wheeled out on a trolley! ******** There's a young man named Martin Dyer a physio who gets your legs higher your joints he will wield while he works at Broomfield just try him - you'll find me no liar! ******** This next one is in the vein of a limerick - although it looks like a poem!! He put this up on the wall in the hospital!! There is a young physio who's name is Martin and people all come to him with aches and joints smarting. Some have had accidents others just fall but he shows concern for them young, old and all. He asks how you...

Sal4Mike 24.07.2006 · Read review
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Review of Limmericks