tvgohome.com

Television at the moment is dead in the water. Within a few years time we will all have to go through a rigorous audition process where we act like completely desperate wannabies in front of some Z-list celebrities just to get a job.

Honestly if I see one more reality TV show I think I'll jump from a great height. What happened to all the great British comedy seems the only amusement comes from across the pond nowadays. Well someone obviously feels the same as me and chooses to poke fun at the banality of programming on offer from terrestrial television.

I stumbled across TvGoHome via a forums board I regular visit, this was last Saturday and within minutes a regular stream of laughing could be heard coming from the room that house my computer. It's a bit like the comic Viz. The best parts of that are the things like Top Tips that take the juice out of completely anal and pointless tips featured in lifestyle magazines such as Bella etc.

Presented in the style of a radio time’s listings page you are greeted to a skewed and satirical view of what is being shown on TV or what could be if taste was no object to the programmers.

6.00PM - THE REAL WHO SHOT PHIL?

TIMELY DOCUMENTARY DETAILING TWO OR THREE REAL LIFE INCIDENTS IN WHICH POTATOE HEADED MECHANICS NAMED PHIL HAVE RECIEVED GUNSHOT WOUNDS.

The above example is one of the milder listings you can find on the site. This is obviously a pot shot at the TV network that seem to think it is apt to spend money on a pointless programme designed to simply promote another programme which is their ratings winner for the night.

Things can get a bit more racy and darker in some of the other listings. Your tolerance to four letter swear words will certainly have some effect on your enjoyment or laugh factor. But it’s like all blue comedians, in ordinary life you'd be repulsed at their language but in a certain environment it's some of the funniest stuff you've ever heard.

"SATURDAY NIGHT ON BBC 2 IT'S I LOVE 2000 NIGHT!"

"YES RE-LIVE EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO FORGET FROM LAST YEAR WITH PEOPLE YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF COMMENTING ON THINGS YOU ALREADY KNOW OR DIDN'T KNOW AND HAVE NOW HAD THEM RUINED FOR YOU!"

Yes even the dull and un-inspired programming that is Saturday night on BBC2 doesn't go un-punished. Alright I made the above up myself but a glance in the archive section of the site and a click on the date of 6/4/2001 will bring up 'LO-FI INTERACTIVE NIGHT' featuring some gems as this: -

8.05 GENT SIMULATOR

CHARMING EXPERIMENT IN WHICH VIEWERS AT HOME PLACE A HAT ON TOP OF THEIR TELEVISION SET, THEN LIFT IT UP AND DOWN AS THE FACE OF A KINDLY OLD GENTLEMAN REPEATEDLY SAYS "GOOD DAY TO YOU" ON SCREEN

If like the creators of this site you have the same style of humour then you ca submit your own ideas for TV shows that many be included in future editions. There is a book planned from the site and I for one would buy it, it makes the perfect Christmas present.

I'd love to say more about the sire but to be honest that's really it. It's simple to use, well laid out and the pages are ion the form of jpeg images that are quick to load. Check it out if you're at work and I'm sure you'll become the toast of the office. I leave you with one of my personal favourite from the site.

9.00 BAD LUTENIANT OF THE YEAR 1999

HARVEY KEITEL INTRODUCES LIVE COVERAGE OF THE FINAL STAGE IN THE INTERNATIONAL CONTEST TO FIND THE MOST CORRUPT POLICE OFFICER IN THE WORLD

Just remember it could happen.......